Man is small, and, therefore, small is beautiful

'We cannot live on the human level without ideas.
Upon them depends what we do.
Living is nothing more or less than doing one thing instead of another'
(A quote in Small is Beautiful)

As i rush out the main gate, and cross the busy street below, the first morning chill hit my head,
and i remember i have forgotten my topi upstairs.

I put on Frank Sinatra on the laptop and realize for how brief a moment that is, when the phones ring incessantly from the moment i step in at 9 - I de-mute it at 5, and i realize it's time for me to go home.

With pockets in my hand and my bag across my chest, i walk past the typical Nepali street ... Puspa tailors, Om arts, Ghadi, Chasma and mobile repair centre, Ashis ko bhojanalaya...

I stand below the towering NTC building at Jawalakhel with the mini-football field on my left and stare at the evening crowd for a brief moment - and realize I am lost in the multitude.

This is my hometown... with one million more population than ten years back ... i don't know the my grocer, i don't know the name of the newspaperman who hands over the TKP to me every morning, i buy vegetables from a different person each day, i see different faces on the street below each evening.

Some can keep friends. Some just make them?

I come back to EF Schumacher and turn to my bookmark: The Proper Use of Land... i read aloud the chapter to myself and realize how different my voice sounds. I want to check with someone and there's no one around.

I watch football and jubiliant players running all over the field after an amazing goal. And i think - why do i care?

I wake up at 2 midnight and realize there is a curfew outside only due to absence of the vehicles plying ... otherwise who would stop the dogs barking... who would stop the television screaming...

The whole political atmosphere gives a halt to your brain and mind.... now what? it asks me.... where to? It is when I can see no further... and get no answer to my future... i question myself - Do i sound like a pessimist?

I flip on the RC to watch BBC and end up with the Donkey Show on CNN. Is it good marketing or do we just ramble? Wander. Do this and that. Go left and right. Sit here, change our mind and sit there. The purpose?

I stare up the night sky as usual. It is clear at its best. I identify the Orion and the a cluster of stars - the sapta rishis - and realize how i have forgotten them all.
All of them.

The brain 'forgets' to protect itself in case of extreme torture, i read Ludlum. And try to remember the last time i took so much time to read a page turner.

Thousands of images formed in my mind today. The brain is so small and fickle, it can't click on more than just a few to retrieve them... Is it so small? It is... a little more than a kilo?