And the phone slips of the sweat between the ears which has gone hot of the long hour of talk. It is difficult to hold it there any longer so it is brought a little afar from the ears to just let the voice reach the ear letting some air pass in between. It is switched from one ear to the next as frequently as needed...
The exasperated voice is heated without any end though ...how can you say you don't understand me after 8 months?!
Silence at the other end...except a faint tchk tchk...tchk...tchk...
Are you at your nails again??
Silence...tchk tchk stops
How is it going to work if you just remain silent? say something..shall i cut off? You don't want to talk to me? ..........okay, we don't have to talk about this right now.....tell me, how was work yesterday................................hello?
Click.
Hello?? Damn!
I don't like him yelling at me on the phone, so I put it down...it relieved me of the hot burning sensation...the air cooled down my ear. The ear rings were loosened up too....so I took it off...meticulously, not to drop it where I can't search it again. I wiped cleaned my ear lobes, returned my ~kerchief neatly folded to my coat pocket...and put on the rings again...first left then right. Hm..neat.
Who was it on the phone your food's all cold come in and eat...
It was mom - all in one breath.
On the table there was rice with dal and aloo.
Hm......Contemplatively I took two sliced cool pieces of cucumber from the platter and took it to my still warm ears. Hmm...it felt cool. After a while the cucumber and the ear were the same temperature. The pieces now warm, felt unhygienic…I placed them beside my plate, took my mobile and dialed his number. I got to see you, I need to talk to you, I said, in half an hour at the café, you gonna be there? Finally! Sure honey, I am all ears.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
heavy clouds all around...mountain lust green
It's lunch time!
The little of a writer I am, I had decided to write something of my experience at college a few weeks back for my own memory sake of which I am scarce. I started on a fresh sheet of paper and wrote 8 pages straight when I was interrupted for my supper, after which I have not gone back to it. I would not have mentioned this thing had i not come across this very nicely written blog on writing. It's called the REAL Writing Life, and the blogger, author of a few bestsellers, offers suggestions on writing. One strong take for me was that the writer has to be obsessive with his writing - be it the plot, the story, the words, or the sentences. This obsession will take the writer to its completion. Being obsessive to the end - while writing seems the most difficult part, at least for me. Somewhere I had read that V.S. Naipaul used to write for the sake or satisfaction of writing - not for anything else...he used to frame expressions and descriptions on his way back from work because beautiful expressions, sleek descriptions are the heart of literature..when it touches you at the level of Art, I think a literary piece is successful.
**********************
I have no skills. That is what I think. I cannot play a sport. I cannot write. I cannot draw or paint. I am not a computer freak. I can't drive, I don't have a good figure and I can't sing. I don't play an instrument either. Sometimes I think about myself and say to me and those ears around - I am pathetic. Had it been my younger brother around, he would have been quite satisfied to hear this. He'd have added - I told you so! But as my boss once mentioned to me confusedly, who likes to take opinion on many things...you have that....knack....to sense. He was reflective and I was reflective at that point of time - on me. Being reflective on oneself with someone else by your side doing the same thing is a different experience I realized, because these occasions are rare, as least for me. Well that was it...i don't remember any concrete outcome of the reflection because that was not our objective, the objective was to kill time ... to think of something ..anything.
**********************
It's been raining now and then...now and then....to the point that you forget whether it rained yesterday or not. Many people are ill because of it. The weather takes a heavy toll on the moods of people whether we accept this fact or not. Some people like it, some don't. The heavy mood is on. Whatever one looks at looks heavy..starting from the clouds, the mountains, the leaves and trees, the wet birds, soaked dresses, hair, buses, cars, and mobikes, slippers, tyres, window panes, umbrellas....everything is soaked...heavy...filled.
The little of a writer I am, I had decided to write something of my experience at college a few weeks back for my own memory sake of which I am scarce. I started on a fresh sheet of paper and wrote 8 pages straight when I was interrupted for my supper, after which I have not gone back to it. I would not have mentioned this thing had i not come across this very nicely written blog on writing. It's called the REAL Writing Life, and the blogger, author of a few bestsellers, offers suggestions on writing. One strong take for me was that the writer has to be obsessive with his writing - be it the plot, the story, the words, or the sentences. This obsession will take the writer to its completion. Being obsessive to the end - while writing seems the most difficult part, at least for me. Somewhere I had read that V.S. Naipaul used to write for the sake or satisfaction of writing - not for anything else...he used to frame expressions and descriptions on his way back from work because beautiful expressions, sleek descriptions are the heart of literature..when it touches you at the level of Art, I think a literary piece is successful.
**********************
I have no skills. That is what I think. I cannot play a sport. I cannot write. I cannot draw or paint. I am not a computer freak. I can't drive, I don't have a good figure and I can't sing. I don't play an instrument either. Sometimes I think about myself and say to me and those ears around - I am pathetic. Had it been my younger brother around, he would have been quite satisfied to hear this. He'd have added - I told you so! But as my boss once mentioned to me confusedly, who likes to take opinion on many things...you have that....knack....to sense. He was reflective and I was reflective at that point of time - on me. Being reflective on oneself with someone else by your side doing the same thing is a different experience I realized, because these occasions are rare, as least for me. Well that was it...i don't remember any concrete outcome of the reflection because that was not our objective, the objective was to kill time ... to think of something ..anything.
**********************
It's been raining now and then...now and then....to the point that you forget whether it rained yesterday or not. Many people are ill because of it. The weather takes a heavy toll on the moods of people whether we accept this fact or not. Some people like it, some don't. The heavy mood is on. Whatever one looks at looks heavy..starting from the clouds, the mountains, the leaves and trees, the wet birds, soaked dresses, hair, buses, cars, and mobikes, slippers, tyres, window panes, umbrellas....everything is soaked...heavy...filled.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Leap it up!
Well well.......
a long time wish come true......
I went bungy!!
how boring a post could be on bungy without any pics?!
It was great fun though!
How did I feel? The first leap from the edge of the hanging bridge was the most exciting...
and then you feel the land leaping at you from below...for 4 secs everything whizzes past you and your world is upside down - literally.
You hang there for half a minute or so....all you see and hear is the river down - down below...
I had an urge to shout after i took the leap and when i was down there swaying on the rope.....so i shouted ..WOHoOOOOOOO!!!!!!......apparantly no one heard me coz the onlookers see you till you take the leap and half way through.....then they wonder where are you....or how would they feel....
a long time wish come true......
I went bungy!!
how boring a post could be on bungy without any pics?!
It was great fun though!
How did I feel? The first leap from the edge of the hanging bridge was the most exciting...
and then you feel the land leaping at you from below...for 4 secs everything whizzes past you and your world is upside down - literally.
You hang there for half a minute or so....all you see and hear is the river down - down below...
I had an urge to shout after i took the leap and when i was down there swaying on the rope.....so i shouted ..WOHoOOOOOOO!!!!!!......apparantly no one heard me coz the onlookers see you till you take the leap and half way through.....then they wonder where are you....or how would they feel....
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Fly me away... color me...
Birds remind me of freedom...independence...
Of smokes and all the upwards pollution..
It takes me to its nest...its home..cozy n comfortable...
Of dependence...of hunt and of worms...
The songs...the nature...the trees...
Colorful birds, Birdpark.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Music of your life
Vid tells me to write about Spacing Out.
And luckily, I am not spaced out today.
Shris is angry with me for the 'sticky business'...
She says why do you need the sticks?! Shall i try it to when i get frustrated?
Well, I can't explain it to her.
She called a while ago...she was literally angry on the phone....
I said, Now, you going to bang the phone down on me aren't you?
And she did! Interesting.
A lots of 'fwded mails' day today. But very very busy with piles of work, so i kept passing them on to the list of people without even reading complete a few of them. But the Smart MBAs' fwd was interesting, where the four students who's taken an excuse of a flat tire are put in different rooms for the re-test. The question is ...which tyre went bust? haw...haw...good one.
My comp at home went dead yesterday ... the only msg that came as i powered it in was smthing to do with boot device...so as a comp unfriendly person, i thought the whole thing had gone for a toss. I had given hope on all the songs, my article collections, book collections, other stuff collected over the months...
Bro somehow revived it.... and i knew what i would have lost so i played music on the comp for the rest of the night and all this morning too - Satriani all along.
It rained today. I didn't realize it coz i got no window where i sit....
But without caring that my boss was right behind me, i just stared out the window when i got the chance and it was so beautiful.... .......rain drops on the green leaves, trickling rushing umbrellas, squeaking shoes, pittary pattary drops on the roof...
it brought back to my mind the wet kurta i had been drenched in a few days back...... and i shivered of the cold i felt then.
Amidst humming computers and uninterruptible power supplies, we forget to drench in the rain and feel the sun.
And luckily, I am not spaced out today.
Shris is angry with me for the 'sticky business'...
She says why do you need the sticks?! Shall i try it to when i get frustrated?
Well, I can't explain it to her.
She called a while ago...she was literally angry on the phone....
I said, Now, you going to bang the phone down on me aren't you?
And she did! Interesting.
A lots of 'fwded mails' day today. But very very busy with piles of work, so i kept passing them on to the list of people without even reading complete a few of them. But the Smart MBAs' fwd was interesting, where the four students who's taken an excuse of a flat tire are put in different rooms for the re-test. The question is ...which tyre went bust? haw...haw...good one.
My comp at home went dead yesterday ... the only msg that came as i powered it in was smthing to do with boot device...so as a comp unfriendly person, i thought the whole thing had gone for a toss. I had given hope on all the songs, my article collections, book collections, other stuff collected over the months...
Bro somehow revived it.... and i knew what i would have lost so i played music on the comp for the rest of the night and all this morning too - Satriani all along.
It rained today. I didn't realize it coz i got no window where i sit....
But without caring that my boss was right behind me, i just stared out the window when i got the chance and it was so beautiful.... .......rain drops on the green leaves, trickling rushing umbrellas, squeaking shoes, pittary pattary drops on the roof...
it brought back to my mind the wet kurta i had been drenched in a few days back...... and i shivered of the cold i felt then.
Amidst humming computers and uninterruptible power supplies, we forget to drench in the rain and feel the sun.
Monday, July 02, 2007
RU mad?!
How to use: Are you mad?!
This particular expression is to be followed by your mouth open and it should be held open for at least three seconds. It should be accompanied by eyes wide open, preferably with both palms wide open at the target in front of you.
For more lasting effect, use it at the person beside you while you are at the wheels, driving a vehicle at top speed so that the passenger – i.e. your target gets the jolt of their life. If you are a lady and if you have longish hair profile, ruffled open hair is the best get up, which gives the whole set up a mad look to gel with your poignant expression.
The stress should be on the last word – Mad. It goes: Are – you- ma-AD?!
Okay, so you are ready for the mirror test now.
Face the mirror and follow it step wise….there you go…….Are you Mad?!
You can get it right – Are you Ma-AD?! Try it once more…
When to use: When you feel that the other person is mad, and you want a confirmation on the same from that person. However, too frequent use of this expression on one particular individual is guaranteed to make the person Mad.
This particular expression is to be followed by your mouth open and it should be held open for at least three seconds. It should be accompanied by eyes wide open, preferably with both palms wide open at the target in front of you.
For more lasting effect, use it at the person beside you while you are at the wheels, driving a vehicle at top speed so that the passenger – i.e. your target gets the jolt of their life. If you are a lady and if you have longish hair profile, ruffled open hair is the best get up, which gives the whole set up a mad look to gel with your poignant expression.
The stress should be on the last word – Mad. It goes: Are – you- ma-AD?!
Okay, so you are ready for the mirror test now.
Face the mirror and follow it step wise….there you go…….Are you Mad?!
You can get it right – Are you Ma-AD?! Try it once more…
When to use: When you feel that the other person is mad, and you want a confirmation on the same from that person. However, too frequent use of this expression on one particular individual is guaranteed to make the person Mad.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Pink 32
When you tread too deep, it hurts.
My life as a shoe...no one empathises...
when i stare out of the window shop, when i shine and smile, a little girl winks at me and smiles at my pink skin.
Ma.....pink!!
she says - very cutely...
Ma...pinky..pinky ...i want pinky shoes.
The Ma looks hefty, deadly.
If the Ma would slip me in, i'd be dead to dust.
But she is not that kind of Ma.
She let the little girl slip me in and her feather like little feet were so cute.
But she was in that growing up age when her feet would get bigger with her, so she would have to get a bigger me even though i was the best match. I acted as big as possible, swear to God, but she would just fit me. Not a millimeter of space, just fitted me so well...
Thurty-for.. The Ma said .... 34! i shrank. And i went to my cozy lil space on the window stand waving bye to all the shoes in the boxes with their big fat numbers on them....
38! 39! 40! ....fat assess! and such dull colors...grey, blacks and whites....
I was the prettiest of them ... pink with a white bow. White bow. Hmm...cute.
As i sat brooding on my usual stand, i saw the 34 swinging with the little girl... pinky, she said, so sweetly. My days are passing by, i wink once in a while to little girls to catch their attention, oh, why does the feet get bigger with age!
My life as a shoe...no one empathises...
when i stare out of the window shop, when i shine and smile, a little girl winks at me and smiles at my pink skin.
Ma.....pink!!
she says - very cutely...
Ma...pinky..pinky ...i want pinky shoes.
The Ma looks hefty, deadly.
If the Ma would slip me in, i'd be dead to dust.
But she is not that kind of Ma.
She let the little girl slip me in and her feather like little feet were so cute.
But she was in that growing up age when her feet would get bigger with her, so she would have to get a bigger me even though i was the best match. I acted as big as possible, swear to God, but she would just fit me. Not a millimeter of space, just fitted me so well...
Thurty-for.. The Ma said .... 34! i shrank. And i went to my cozy lil space on the window stand waving bye to all the shoes in the boxes with their big fat numbers on them....
38! 39! 40! ....fat assess! and such dull colors...grey, blacks and whites....
I was the prettiest of them ... pink with a white bow. White bow. Hmm...cute.
As i sat brooding on my usual stand, i saw the 34 swinging with the little girl... pinky, she said, so sweetly. My days are passing by, i wink once in a while to little girls to catch their attention, oh, why does the feet get bigger with age!
Friday, June 29, 2007
We went to Kris' place. We took a cab through the thick stubborn traffic. It took us about half an hour. The surrounding mountains were getting closer and closer. Shris said, now we walk. So, we started walking towards the mountains. Nagarjuna was right atop us, but she would not say we have reached Kris' new house, we just kept on walking towards the mountains. I kidded – don’t tell me we need to go behind those mountains.
After a long long walk passing all the houses and the enquiring faces along the path, she says…I think we are on the right track. We still kept on walking and after another 10 mins she says…the tracks and the surrounding are changed, but I think we are on the right track because there is not other road near here. So, we kept on walking until we bumped our heads to the mountain, and we reached Kris’ new home.
Was I surprised when I went on her terrace!
If I stretched my hand… I could have touched the green mountains... It’s a half hour trek to Ichangu Gumba, Kris said behind me. I could see three layers of mountain…and the almost full Moon just above the Swayumbhu’s Danda. Gorgeous place to be boss…just behind, you could rest on the mountains to see the Ktm valley rolled out in front of you.
In the same city, yet far away, it was a separate world to be in. I am definitely making a second trip to Kris place!
After a long long walk passing all the houses and the enquiring faces along the path, she says…I think we are on the right track. We still kept on walking and after another 10 mins she says…the tracks and the surrounding are changed, but I think we are on the right track because there is not other road near here. So, we kept on walking until we bumped our heads to the mountain, and we reached Kris’ new home.
Was I surprised when I went on her terrace!
If I stretched my hand… I could have touched the green mountains... It’s a half hour trek to Ichangu Gumba, Kris said behind me. I could see three layers of mountain…and the almost full Moon just above the Swayumbhu’s Danda. Gorgeous place to be boss…just behind, you could rest on the mountains to see the Ktm valley rolled out in front of you.
In the same city, yet far away, it was a separate world to be in. I am definitely making a second trip to Kris place!
(Soft Music) Sorry, the number you have dialled cannot be reached at the moment, pls try again later.....
Hi, I am out of office on July 2nd. I will get back to you on the 10th. For any urgent issues, pls contact Ms. XYZ.
MEN AT WORK
Wet, Do not Step
HTTP smth smth Error:Page Not Found
This page is under repair
Sorry for the inconvenience
Lunch Break 1:00 to infinity
THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING
Dodge this!! (shoot gun)
Hi, I am out of office on July 2nd. I will get back to you on the 10th. For any urgent issues, pls contact Ms. XYZ.
MEN AT WORK
Wet, Do not Step
HTTP smth smth Error:Page Not Found
This page is under repair
Sorry for the inconvenience
Lunch Break 1:00 to infinity
THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING
Dodge this!! (shoot gun)
kris
We are to visit a new friend today.
New friend as in one who is made recently.
She has a new house built. She has gone to the details of choosing the color of tiles for the bathroom, she buys her own door knob and the color for different rooms.
I plan to visit her today with Shris who has been accompanying her to few of her shopping trips.
It seems a little out of context for kids in mid 20s to be hopping around hardware store asking for door knobs and bolts, paint, paint brushes and white cement. She was involved upto the brick-wala, the rod-wala to the roda-wala.
Well well, with a kid on hand and a pressured hectic job all day long, that is hell of a task to accomplish when the hubby's on duty to some other country.
Kudos to Kris!! through humble reach of my blogpost....
Writing Kris reminds me of the flying Krissh.. hmm....
New friend as in one who is made recently.
She has a new house built. She has gone to the details of choosing the color of tiles for the bathroom, she buys her own door knob and the color for different rooms.
I plan to visit her today with Shris who has been accompanying her to few of her shopping trips.
It seems a little out of context for kids in mid 20s to be hopping around hardware store asking for door knobs and bolts, paint, paint brushes and white cement. She was involved upto the brick-wala, the rod-wala to the roda-wala.
Well well, with a kid on hand and a pressured hectic job all day long, that is hell of a task to accomplish when the hubby's on duty to some other country.
Kudos to Kris!! through humble reach of my blogpost....
Writing Kris reminds me of the flying Krissh.. hmm....
Thursday, June 28, 2007
wonder
i smtimes wonder at the various perspectives in life there and how how how little we know about it......
the tininess of man's mind to store, understand, comprehend and analyze knowledge on one hand and the vastness of man's mind as in - 'the brain is wider than the sky' on the other hand.... amazes me to the two distinctly opposite relative quality of the same thing............
philosophy starts with wonder...someone had said...
it is the questioning mind... philosophy is the start and end to any faculty of knowledge...
it exists and starts beyond the realm of all knowledge.... it is metaphysical...transcendental....
whist some say philosophy is a past time of the idle mind... it's about inconsequential discussions...
here too is a distinctly opposite perception of the same subject....
i wonder.
the tininess of man's mind to store, understand, comprehend and analyze knowledge on one hand and the vastness of man's mind as in - 'the brain is wider than the sky' on the other hand.... amazes me to the two distinctly opposite relative quality of the same thing............
philosophy starts with wonder...someone had said...
it is the questioning mind... philosophy is the start and end to any faculty of knowledge...
it exists and starts beyond the realm of all knowledge.... it is metaphysical...transcendental....
whist some say philosophy is a past time of the idle mind... it's about inconsequential discussions...
here too is a distinctly opposite perception of the same subject....
i wonder.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
tired
the pencil case stands grey
with all the pencils to be sharpened...looking fray..
will you not sharpen me to the sharpest lead...
hya.....
too tired to think anything...
too tired to write anything...
days and days gone by..to you..
what do i get at the end?
experience?
with all the pencils to be sharpened...looking fray..
will you not sharpen me to the sharpest lead...
hya.....
too tired to think anything...
too tired to write anything...
days and days gone by..to you..
what do i get at the end?
experience?
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Spools of thought
There are times when you feel that the whole world is against you. We feel conscious of how we dress, what we wear, what we speak and how we behave in front of and with others. And there are times when you are in the mood to damn care of the world that surround you - oblivious of it, you do what you like. These are the times when you feel a breeze of freedom to taste what your palate likes and to be amongst people that you love. Lots of thing brings this second stage of mind at play. Being in love, reading some spiritual writings, reading philosophy, having a level of consciousness from all these things and of course a little thought - common sense.
However, there is one thing that binds us to the first fear of being conscious of the world at large. It is the bonding that we have in this world by way of association to various people and the liking and the loving we have for each other. I need this job, thus, I need to dress correctly, speak correctly and smile correctly, coz if I don't then I could lose this job which would mean I will not be able to give my loved one what I promised. Now, if the love, like or the attachments hadn't been there at the first place, all the other further attachments brought from it would have been spared.
This brings me to another spool of thought. If we like each other, why is there a necessary element of expectation? He loves me, thus he will do this for me, he will buy me this, he will say this or wear this or see this or be this. If we all love, like or have acquaintances without any expectation, without any ifs and buts, I believe my first two paragraphs would stand in vain. If we are all able to love and like each other without any expectations, without the obligations and the feeling of being bound to a relationship, the meaning of everything else would change I guess.
Relationships, love, liking for each other - should be capable of setting you free, and not binding you. Expectations are one strong reason that gives the feeling of burden to a relationship. Possessiveness is another factor, I think. It makes a relationship strenuous. A father being possessive of a daughter, a girlfriend of a boyfriend, a sister of her brother, a master of its pet, is a hindrance to feeling free and loving in its pure sense.
However, there is one thing that binds us to the first fear of being conscious of the world at large. It is the bonding that we have in this world by way of association to various people and the liking and the loving we have for each other. I need this job, thus, I need to dress correctly, speak correctly and smile correctly, coz if I don't then I could lose this job which would mean I will not be able to give my loved one what I promised. Now, if the love, like or the attachments hadn't been there at the first place, all the other further attachments brought from it would have been spared.
This brings me to another spool of thought. If we like each other, why is there a necessary element of expectation? He loves me, thus he will do this for me, he will buy me this, he will say this or wear this or see this or be this. If we all love, like or have acquaintances without any expectation, without any ifs and buts, I believe my first two paragraphs would stand in vain. If we are all able to love and like each other without any expectations, without the obligations and the feeling of being bound to a relationship, the meaning of everything else would change I guess.
Relationships, love, liking for each other - should be capable of setting you free, and not binding you. Expectations are one strong reason that gives the feeling of burden to a relationship. Possessiveness is another factor, I think. It makes a relationship strenuous. A father being possessive of a daughter, a girlfriend of a boyfriend, a sister of her brother, a master of its pet, is a hindrance to feeling free and loving in its pure sense.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
silver
smone Chinese thinker had said......
those who know do not speak.
those who speak do not know.
hm...
thought provoking.
the politics of the country is going for a toss surely,
with fuzzy statements like the ones our PM make.
and with all the haywire vibes that is coming out of the alliance.
hopefully the elections happen as stated, and let us expect a frutiful budget.
that's about it for now on that front. Wish we could help. We are helping in someway, that's what i feel.....by doing whatever we do.
BBC is gaga about happiness this month.... which reminds me of a prjt we undertook to gauge happiness during college days. like always i think i will end up watching the promos and not the actual program on BBC...
i smhow picked up a bk on Lenin sterday nite - midnite to be exact. it's interesting... how he got into the mainstream after his brother was hanged. He was just 23.
last week i opened my drawer after long .... to clean it.
to my utter disgust.....no, i didn't find baby rats as i did once.........
i found that all my silver trinklets had reacted with one of my tablets and gone black....damn! how careless .......
so, could anyone suggest how to get them back to shape? .....shining? would be a gr8 help to see them white.
those who know do not speak.
those who speak do not know.
hm...
thought provoking.
the politics of the country is going for a toss surely,
with fuzzy statements like the ones our PM make.
and with all the haywire vibes that is coming out of the alliance.
hopefully the elections happen as stated, and let us expect a frutiful budget.
that's about it for now on that front. Wish we could help. We are helping in someway, that's what i feel.....by doing whatever we do.
BBC is gaga about happiness this month.... which reminds me of a prjt we undertook to gauge happiness during college days. like always i think i will end up watching the promos and not the actual program on BBC...
i smhow picked up a bk on Lenin sterday nite - midnite to be exact. it's interesting... how he got into the mainstream after his brother was hanged. He was just 23.
last week i opened my drawer after long .... to clean it.
to my utter disgust.....no, i didn't find baby rats as i did once.........
i found that all my silver trinklets had reacted with one of my tablets and gone black....damn! how careless .......
so, could anyone suggest how to get them back to shape? .....shining? would be a gr8 help to see them white.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Not just talking
Sometimes i feel i will never ever learn the art of communication.
Art... yes, i truly believe it's an art because more I think of communicating it right, the more hotch-potched it becomes and I end up with a potpourri of juggled thoughts in both my and the receiver's mind.
Practice does help. But i believe good communication comes naturally to a person. Some people just relate to you and the mass and all the people without much effort - or so it seems.
While some like me, just fumble at the next call or the next presentation or the next meeting and an encounter or a compliment or the next thank you and the next sorry - to mumble at myself post the whatever encounter, that i could have or should have said something else, reacted somehow differently or used this word or that...and it's useless basically at that point of time. Because situations like these occur at 'the' moment and 5 minutes later, you are back with the audience wondering how you spoke or the handset is down and you go back to the conversation to ruminate whether you used the right words. I said sorry to a colleague of mine and after the whole episode it seemed to me that it was not enough and that i sounded a lil arrogant or my posture was not right.
On hindsight it seems i should have thought of 'how to do it' beforehand...but it's just not practical and possible to do it for every meeting you gonna encounter on way to the restroom.
It's a frequent thing of mine at the lunch table of the variety of people i meet - how am i to start the conversation, and once i start it how to end it?
I don't think this is a common issue for all and i am fed up of talking the weather and the movies with every other person i meet.
More so, i wonder at, and pity the people around me :)
Art... yes, i truly believe it's an art because more I think of communicating it right, the more hotch-potched it becomes and I end up with a potpourri of juggled thoughts in both my and the receiver's mind.
Practice does help. But i believe good communication comes naturally to a person. Some people just relate to you and the mass and all the people without much effort - or so it seems.
While some like me, just fumble at the next call or the next presentation or the next meeting and an encounter or a compliment or the next thank you and the next sorry - to mumble at myself post the whatever encounter, that i could have or should have said something else, reacted somehow differently or used this word or that...and it's useless basically at that point of time. Because situations like these occur at 'the' moment and 5 minutes later, you are back with the audience wondering how you spoke or the handset is down and you go back to the conversation to ruminate whether you used the right words. I said sorry to a colleague of mine and after the whole episode it seemed to me that it was not enough and that i sounded a lil arrogant or my posture was not right.
On hindsight it seems i should have thought of 'how to do it' beforehand...but it's just not practical and possible to do it for every meeting you gonna encounter on way to the restroom.
It's a frequent thing of mine at the lunch table of the variety of people i meet - how am i to start the conversation, and once i start it how to end it?
I don't think this is a common issue for all and i am fed up of talking the weather and the movies with every other person i meet.
More so, i wonder at, and pity the people around me :)
Monday, June 18, 2007
chit-chat
okay!
so dear tell me what's up.
where shall i start my talk?
what would you talk to a person that knows everything about you....
has known you since maybe 10yrs...
you live in the same town and work at the same joint......
you basically see each other grow each day...inch by inch...
yet you will talk to each other.........
okay!
dear so tell me...what's up?
with coffee and a muffin in a tray i walk through the spread of others in queue...
here we are... did you want anything else? i thought you'd like muffin.....
because you know, i like muffin.....warm - heated - muffin.....
and there is that silly smile on the face.....forced out on her face.... basically....
which means why the courtesy when you do it your way.......
okay dear,
so tell me, what's up?
how was the movie.....did you like it? she is sipping coffee so i presume she doesn't have the time to speak.
i fill in for her....
personally, i didn't like it.....the second half was pathetic.....
the starting had signs of a different hindi movie...the concept of superman and diana and lara speaking french....but it's pathetic...btw how did you like it?
she was now busy with the muffin so i thought let's move into something else...
you havent' told me how you like my new bag....
i was looking for a brown one....but this green is different, isn't it?
i don't know i have this fascination for green...
many people say...it's a sign of jealousy...but i think it is just the color of nature....
so unassuming.....
and, you wanted to have an ice cream too didn't you?
but, with coffee...it wouldn't go that well....nah?
why not we have a pastry instead?
blackforest? i think that's your favorite too...huh?
two blackforests please....
okay dear tell me.......what's up?
ah, she is speaking finally. but she is too good.
She said - nothing. you tell me.
What pleasure!
so dear tell me what's up.
where shall i start my talk?
what would you talk to a person that knows everything about you....
has known you since maybe 10yrs...
you live in the same town and work at the same joint......
you basically see each other grow each day...inch by inch...
yet you will talk to each other.........
okay!
dear so tell me...what's up?
with coffee and a muffin in a tray i walk through the spread of others in queue...
here we are... did you want anything else? i thought you'd like muffin.....
because you know, i like muffin.....warm - heated - muffin.....
and there is that silly smile on the face.....forced out on her face.... basically....
which means why the courtesy when you do it your way.......
okay dear,
so tell me, what's up?
how was the movie.....did you like it? she is sipping coffee so i presume she doesn't have the time to speak.
i fill in for her....
personally, i didn't like it.....the second half was pathetic.....
the starting had signs of a different hindi movie...the concept of superman and diana and lara speaking french....but it's pathetic...btw how did you like it?
she was now busy with the muffin so i thought let's move into something else...
you havent' told me how you like my new bag....
i was looking for a brown one....but this green is different, isn't it?
i don't know i have this fascination for green...
many people say...it's a sign of jealousy...but i think it is just the color of nature....
so unassuming.....
and, you wanted to have an ice cream too didn't you?
but, with coffee...it wouldn't go that well....nah?
why not we have a pastry instead?
blackforest? i think that's your favorite too...huh?
two blackforests please....
okay dear tell me.......what's up?
ah, she is speaking finally. but she is too good.
She said - nothing. you tell me.
What pleasure!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
disarrayed thoughts
Do you have the urge to tear apart and see what's inside this screen in front of you?
Would you like to go in-in-inside the electric wires to see how the electricity actually flows?
I would love to see the electric impulses passing through the brain cells as a person thinks........
It would be well nice......
Would you like to go in-in-inside the electric wires to see how the electricity actually flows?
I would love to see the electric impulses passing through the brain cells as a person thinks........
It would be well nice......
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Sorry
In anguish and pain you moan to me,
I strive hard to listen --
Silence I see
Whispers I feel
Pitch black is what i hear
Hello?
I pain to unfathom the meaning of you,
I strive to understand the whispers and clue.
Which language you speak, my friend to me?
What words you say that strike empty ears?
A new thought dawns on me --
Maybe it's me, not you at fault-
I have been rather deaf all along.
I strive hard to listen --
Silence I see
Whispers I feel
Pitch black is what i hear
Hello?
I pain to unfathom the meaning of you,
I strive to understand the whispers and clue.
Which language you speak, my friend to me?
What words you say that strike empty ears?
A new thought dawns on me --
Maybe it's me, not you at fault-
I have been rather deaf all along.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Contemplation
Sometime ago i used to have this thought -
that when someone wants to go away from you for some reason......
i should let that person go.....
because i always thought it is a temporary drift...a common phenomenon with everyone...
and if we have a very strong bonding between us...nothing will change.
This has changed in the last few days, i guess.
I feel I am shaken from within.... i feel more scared of losing a dear one....
and i suddenly realize that it makes you weak.
Love makes you weak. Ties make you weak.
But that should not be the reason we should stop loving, i guess.
Confusion.
that when someone wants to go away from you for some reason......
i should let that person go.....
because i always thought it is a temporary drift...a common phenomenon with everyone...
and if we have a very strong bonding between us...nothing will change.
This has changed in the last few days, i guess.
I feel I am shaken from within.... i feel more scared of losing a dear one....
and i suddenly realize that it makes you weak.
Love makes you weak. Ties make you weak.
But that should not be the reason we should stop loving, i guess.
Confusion.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
The Bride
Well, well, well..................
So it seems i didn't wish someone on her b'day.......damn!
Anyways, here's a small write up i sent for her sometime back...
Many people have commented on these...but i have not had the energy, time and the will to change what i first wrote.....so, here's 'the bride' for you.......on the Bride's Birthday.......
Happy B'day dear!
I attended one of my friend's wedding for the first time ever. Not that I have not attended any marriages, nor is it that none of my friend's got married and I have not attended any of them. I have attended quite a few weddings of my friends. But this is the first time I ever stayed the whole full fledged damn week with her – before, during and after her marriage – day in and day out. In a sense, it was one my longest social excursions to the so called society and people – and the world of uncles, aunts and grandmoms and granddads. Rituals, rules, respect, norms were staple and I can't deny that I missed my independence quite a many times during my five day stay there.
Among the many things I realized, like the complicacy of the food and the various levels of relationships that exist in a big extended family, the extent of expenditure and preparation one has to make, the most exalting thing that dawned on me was – How one could know everything about a person during her marriage. I realized that if one has to really know a person inside out, see her in all colors of life – it is this one occasion that gives you the opportunity. I will never forget this friend of mine because I saw her through the most important, the most extensive event of her life. I saw every bit of her. I saw her in her deepest distress – when her mother fainted. I saw her in her best moods – with her beloved on the phone– with her see-you-soon tone. I saw her dance and I heard her sing. I saw her early mornings and midnights. I saw her gobble and weaken through a fast. I saw her choose her best clothes and pick the jewelries. I saw her being blessed by her parents and saw her give untiring smiles to end number of neighbors – whom she had never met and whom she knows she will never meet again. I saw her cry on leaving her two lovely sisters behind and I saw her yearn for some more chowmein – that she so loves. I saw her spend – and restrain. I could feel the love in her, the irritation and her nervousness. She wished for something she could not have, she gave away what she treasured.
Myriad of colors, mixture of sweet scents, and mosaic of joyous emotions – it is all about marriage. People, people and more people. Best of food and drinks, dazzling lights, and scintillating music– laughter, extravagance, space, energy and jubilance – it's all about marriage. Amongst this crowd and clamor, chaos and order, it is just one person among all, who goes through extreme emotional stages in such a short period of time, such a drastic and dramatic change – to be uprooted from one family, one culture, one place, and one surrounding to a new world – and it is the Bride. To be the only friend of the bride throughout her marriage is one experience I would never forget. I would never forget this girl who went off crying – in her best dress she wore for her best man. At the end of it all, I had seen it all.
When I picture her today, I ask myself – what else do I need to know about her when I have known her this close? Surprisingly, I get my answer in an instant.
What I know – what I think I understand – is a bride. Bride – I smile at myself, bride - reflection of everything new and fresh – bride – the beginning of a new journey and a new life, a new family, novel surroundings, fresh thoughts, emerging emotions. All my pride and satisfaction of having known a person so deep fizzles out in seconds.
I realize what I saw in the Bride – were questions she reflected in her nervousness, the joys for being so near to the answers, dances and songs for a better and beautiful life, emotions for treading into the unknown, fear of losing the identity she has. But I have not known the person after the beginning. I have not opened the book but its cover. Is she still scared and nervous? Is she happy with her new life and the new found love? Has she made new friends, did she miss her family and her two lovely sisters? Does she belong? Has she found herself? Was all the jubilation worth it after all? Has she found the answers to all her apprehensions, and is she happy? Flick of a thought, I feel as if I am starting a new thriller book, or the latest movie released.
Bride – I scoff myself – and I thought I understood her!
So it seems i didn't wish someone on her b'day.......damn!
Anyways, here's a small write up i sent for her sometime back...
Many people have commented on these...but i have not had the energy, time and the will to change what i first wrote.....so, here's 'the bride' for you.......on the Bride's Birthday.......
Happy B'day dear!
The Bride
I attended one of my friend's wedding for the first time ever. Not that I have not attended any marriages, nor is it that none of my friend's got married and I have not attended any of them. I have attended quite a few weddings of my friends. But this is the first time I ever stayed the whole full fledged damn week with her – before, during and after her marriage – day in and day out. In a sense, it was one my longest social excursions to the so called society and people – and the world of uncles, aunts and grandmoms and granddads. Rituals, rules, respect, norms were staple and I can't deny that I missed my independence quite a many times during my five day stay there.
Among the many things I realized, like the complicacy of the food and the various levels of relationships that exist in a big extended family, the extent of expenditure and preparation one has to make, the most exalting thing that dawned on me was – How one could know everything about a person during her marriage. I realized that if one has to really know a person inside out, see her in all colors of life – it is this one occasion that gives you the opportunity. I will never forget this friend of mine because I saw her through the most important, the most extensive event of her life. I saw every bit of her. I saw her in her deepest distress – when her mother fainted. I saw her in her best moods – with her beloved on the phone– with her see-you-soon tone. I saw her dance and I heard her sing. I saw her early mornings and midnights. I saw her gobble and weaken through a fast. I saw her choose her best clothes and pick the jewelries. I saw her being blessed by her parents and saw her give untiring smiles to end number of neighbors – whom she had never met and whom she knows she will never meet again. I saw her cry on leaving her two lovely sisters behind and I saw her yearn for some more chowmein – that she so loves. I saw her spend – and restrain. I could feel the love in her, the irritation and her nervousness. She wished for something she could not have, she gave away what she treasured.
Myriad of colors, mixture of sweet scents, and mosaic of joyous emotions – it is all about marriage. People, people and more people. Best of food and drinks, dazzling lights, and scintillating music– laughter, extravagance, space, energy and jubilance – it's all about marriage. Amongst this crowd and clamor, chaos and order, it is just one person among all, who goes through extreme emotional stages in such a short period of time, such a drastic and dramatic change – to be uprooted from one family, one culture, one place, and one surrounding to a new world – and it is the Bride. To be the only friend of the bride throughout her marriage is one experience I would never forget. I would never forget this girl who went off crying – in her best dress she wore for her best man. At the end of it all, I had seen it all.
When I picture her today, I ask myself – what else do I need to know about her when I have known her this close? Surprisingly, I get my answer in an instant.
What I know – what I think I understand – is a bride. Bride – I smile at myself, bride - reflection of everything new and fresh – bride – the beginning of a new journey and a new life, a new family, novel surroundings, fresh thoughts, emerging emotions. All my pride and satisfaction of having known a person so deep fizzles out in seconds.
I realize what I saw in the Bride – were questions she reflected in her nervousness, the joys for being so near to the answers, dances and songs for a better and beautiful life, emotions for treading into the unknown, fear of losing the identity she has. But I have not known the person after the beginning. I have not opened the book but its cover. Is she still scared and nervous? Is she happy with her new life and the new found love? Has she made new friends, did she miss her family and her two lovely sisters? Does she belong? Has she found herself? Was all the jubilation worth it after all? Has she found the answers to all her apprehensions, and is she happy? Flick of a thought, I feel as if I am starting a new thriller book, or the latest movie released.
Bride – I scoff myself – and I thought I understood her!
mindless thoughts
bogged down with work...
too much oily eating...
too much i-scream..u-scream...all of us scream....
too much ice-cream
shouting slogans atop the bus...
shouting slogans burning tyres...
at a Frooti Dharna karyakram...
waiting for the phone to ring...impatiently...no, it wouldn't ring...
oh! had to call someone...
'runaway' feels creeping in.....where to?
only available place is the restroom or beneath your own desk....
okie, have asked out a fren for lunch...
thoda fagging....very little eating...
June!
'She was born on first of june...that's why she is called Juni,
didn't you wish her on her b'day?'
wot?!
civilizational confinemnets.... a person has too many affiliations...
it is not just to judge a person on one strong affiliation...hmm....
religion, caste, creed, color of skin, part of the world...
like a muslim or an asian or a hindu or a women or a greek or american or bong..
'all the whites are white due to de-pigmentation, you know that nah?'
hmm..
'so why are they thought to be superior..? they don't have better brains than asians?'
no idea.. let's not talk racial stuff ... okay?
'hmm.. ... ... had your lunch?.. .. too oily food nah?'
hmm... n masala..lots.
too much oily eating...
too much i-scream..u-scream...all of us scream....
too much ice-cream
shouting slogans atop the bus...
shouting slogans burning tyres...
at a Frooti Dharna karyakram...
waiting for the phone to ring...impatiently...no, it wouldn't ring...
oh! had to call someone...
'runaway' feels creeping in.....where to?
only available place is the restroom or beneath your own desk....
okie, have asked out a fren for lunch...
thoda fagging....very little eating...
June!
'She was born on first of june...that's why she is called Juni,
didn't you wish her on her b'day?'
wot?!
civilizational confinemnets.... a person has too many affiliations...
it is not just to judge a person on one strong affiliation...hmm....
religion, caste, creed, color of skin, part of the world...
like a muslim or an asian or a hindu or a women or a greek or american or bong..
'all the whites are white due to de-pigmentation, you know that nah?'
hmm..
'so why are they thought to be superior..? they don't have better brains than asians?'
no idea.. let's not talk racial stuff ... okay?
'hmm.. ... ... had your lunch?.. .. too oily food nah?'
hmm... n masala..lots.
Monday, June 04, 2007
crazy times
If you think what you were 10 years ago.... can you become that person now?
No.
Why?
Because you have replaced that person that was there 10years ago.
You are where you were 10years ago.
It is not the time that is moving..........
it is you...who are changing.
There is - no time.
There is just one time - that is now.
You change but you refer to the time as change.
wot?
think about it.
No.
Why?
Because you have replaced that person that was there 10years ago.
You are where you were 10years ago.
It is not the time that is moving..........
it is you...who are changing.
There is - no time.
There is just one time - that is now.
You change but you refer to the time as change.
wot?
think about it.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
ramble on june
****!
I wrote a long post before this... under the same title...
Just when I started to enjoy writing it, p!ok! I pressed some unwanted keys on the keyboard and the whole damn post disappears not to be found listed anywhere!! Great... how dumber can I get...!!
I was basically rambling about my friends in that write up....
It’s so pathetic....
And the economy of Nepal in general....
On how the so called 'optimists' see the economic happenings as a new start and stuff....
i don't see where the new start is, when the petrol lines get longer by the day, and the huge debts yet to be paid back to IOC...
I may sound a perfect pessimist here...but the garment production units shifted to nearby India have taken away quite a thousand jobs with them...
Market growth's likely to be down-forecasted.... inflation is likely to go up and up....
No, we don't yet have a stable government in place...
The only hopeful industry at a glance seems to be Tourism...even with a double digit growth over last year, i don't see a great thing there...the base was already so low...
All I see quite disappointingly is a group of travelers all set to start their journey... fumbling with a compass on their palm! Let alone, know the direction. So, whoever's had the conception or misconception that the economy has taken a jump start...humble request to pls rethink.
But the hopes are high yes, with the travelers having come together keen to move ahead...which was a rare sight a few months back.
So, all the best for a new start.
I wrote a long post before this... under the same title...
Just when I started to enjoy writing it, p!ok! I pressed some unwanted keys on the keyboard and the whole damn post disappears not to be found listed anywhere!! Great... how dumber can I get...!!
I was basically rambling about my friends in that write up....
It’s so pathetic....
And the economy of Nepal in general....
On how the so called 'optimists' see the economic happenings as a new start and stuff....
i don't see where the new start is, when the petrol lines get longer by the day, and the huge debts yet to be paid back to IOC...
I may sound a perfect pessimist here...but the garment production units shifted to nearby India have taken away quite a thousand jobs with them...
Market growth's likely to be down-forecasted.... inflation is likely to go up and up....
No, we don't yet have a stable government in place...
The only hopeful industry at a glance seems to be Tourism...even with a double digit growth over last year, i don't see a great thing there...the base was already so low...
All I see quite disappointingly is a group of travelers all set to start their journey... fumbling with a compass on their palm! Let alone, know the direction. So, whoever's had the conception or misconception that the economy has taken a jump start...humble request to pls rethink.
But the hopes are high yes, with the travelers having come together keen to move ahead...which was a rare sight a few months back.
So, all the best for a new start.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Expression
Someone told me to be expressive of my feelings on the blog. Hm..interesting.
Be expressive.
I have got a lot more than one comment on myself at being un-expressive.
It is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. Some one just introduced to me asked whether I had a tormented childhood, for my fear of expression. I laughed at the person and said, Excuse me?
A close friend of mine got completely disgusted with me last week - of my expressionless face.
It's difficult dealing with you - she said, I could have never guessed.
Expressions have been a subject of much debate and discussion in the spiritual and the philosophical world too. Hinduism maintains that an individual should control the 10 indriyas - suppress the feelings and emotions that come out of it and devote oneself to God. That is an aide towards Nirvana, to spiritual cleansing.
I believe this is where the Hindu-istic thinking and the modern western thoughts differ.. the latter being more pro-expression in every field they enter into. Freedom of thought, expression, independence, individual rights.. all go in the same direction. Much of chaos, laxity, and loose character are the bi-products of a too free society, I guess. Both have their positives and negatives on the weighing scale.
Finding a mid-way - a balanced character, I think is the challenge to our minds today.
Be expressive.
I have got a lot more than one comment on myself at being un-expressive.
It is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. Some one just introduced to me asked whether I had a tormented childhood, for my fear of expression. I laughed at the person and said, Excuse me?
A close friend of mine got completely disgusted with me last week - of my expressionless face.
It's difficult dealing with you - she said, I could have never guessed.
Expressions have been a subject of much debate and discussion in the spiritual and the philosophical world too. Hinduism maintains that an individual should control the 10 indriyas - suppress the feelings and emotions that come out of it and devote oneself to God. That is an aide towards Nirvana, to spiritual cleansing.
I believe this is where the Hindu-istic thinking and the modern western thoughts differ.. the latter being more pro-expression in every field they enter into. Freedom of thought, expression, independence, individual rights.. all go in the same direction. Much of chaos, laxity, and loose character are the bi-products of a too free society, I guess. Both have their positives and negatives on the weighing scale.
Finding a mid-way - a balanced character, I think is the challenge to our minds today.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
meeting needs profitably
This morning, I went back to Kotler's Marketing I read two years ago. It made more sense and it did not make more sense than it did two years ago.
I could relate to the theoretical aspects of it, drawing from my experience at work.
The examples he gave then, were in the process of being out-dated in the course of two years.
So, apart from marketing, i got two new lessons-
1. get some experience before taking up a management course
2. market dynamics change everyday whether you read about them or not,
so, keep yourself updated.
Having studied marketing for quite a number of years, if someone asks me today, what is marketing? I still tend to fumble for words and explain in roundabout ways. Kotler gives it so damn simple: Meeting Needs Profitably.
I found the classic three-word definintion at the start of the book so fulfiling - like a fresh window has let in chilled fresh air into my mind and no fumbling anymore.
I could relate to the theoretical aspects of it, drawing from my experience at work.
The examples he gave then, were in the process of being out-dated in the course of two years.
So, apart from marketing, i got two new lessons-
1. get some experience before taking up a management course
2. market dynamics change everyday whether you read about them or not,
so, keep yourself updated.
Having studied marketing for quite a number of years, if someone asks me today, what is marketing? I still tend to fumble for words and explain in roundabout ways. Kotler gives it so damn simple: Meeting Needs Profitably.
I found the classic three-word definintion at the start of the book so fulfiling - like a fresh window has let in chilled fresh air into my mind and no fumbling anymore.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
a tiny part
I sometimes wonder whether it is a universal psychological phenomenon when one particular aspect of life or reason, which has always been there, but never considered, so thoroughly seems to have pervaded the day, and the thought process of the whole day as if it has suddenly crept into whatever you are doing or thinking.
These are usually everyday things like, time, the sudden realization of time.
Time is always there, it has always been there and we all know, if we don't use it today, it is gone the very next moment, until you think about this fact.
Now, the catch is, it is a universal phenomenon, we all know about it, but this realization of time exists only when I think about it. And when I think about it, i have the sense of losing it, which would have been anyways lost had not i thought about it. But since I think about it, I am losing it.
hmm....
Like family.
They are always there. But sometimes they seem to be overwhelming.
if you don't think about them, its okay. You seem to have slipped their existence out of your mind. It’s like they don't exist. But when you think about them, they are always there - in whatever you do, or whatever decision you make.
This sense is also there when you suddenly lose something.
Something-s have always been there. You know, like you take off your watch everyday and put it in one particular table everyday. And you naturally reach out to it every morning and go to place it there every evening. It has become a habit....almost a tiny part of you.
How do you feel when one fine morning, it is not there. I get this sudden feeling of losing something because, I can not think of where it could be, and therefore, it is 'lost' to my mind.
And a tiny part of me, feels bad about it.
you know, it does not have to be a watch... it could be anything, a favorite cup of yours, something hanging on your wall, a remote control, a refrigerator handle, a nail on the wall, an eraser, a shoelace, a key or a key ring, your hair, an old telephone book, toothbrush, pair of jeans...
It’s just not there when you reach out for it and you get nothing.
And a tiny part of me goes empty. I sometimes wonder whether it is a universal-psychological-phenomenon.
These are usually everyday things like, time, the sudden realization of time.
Time is always there, it has always been there and we all know, if we don't use it today, it is gone the very next moment, until you think about this fact.
Now, the catch is, it is a universal phenomenon, we all know about it, but this realization of time exists only when I think about it. And when I think about it, i have the sense of losing it, which would have been anyways lost had not i thought about it. But since I think about it, I am losing it.
hmm....
Like family.
They are always there. But sometimes they seem to be overwhelming.
if you don't think about them, its okay. You seem to have slipped their existence out of your mind. It’s like they don't exist. But when you think about them, they are always there - in whatever you do, or whatever decision you make.
This sense is also there when you suddenly lose something.
Something-s have always been there. You know, like you take off your watch everyday and put it in one particular table everyday. And you naturally reach out to it every morning and go to place it there every evening. It has become a habit....almost a tiny part of you.
How do you feel when one fine morning, it is not there. I get this sudden feeling of losing something because, I can not think of where it could be, and therefore, it is 'lost' to my mind.
And a tiny part of me, feels bad about it.
you know, it does not have to be a watch... it could be anything, a favorite cup of yours, something hanging on your wall, a remote control, a refrigerator handle, a nail on the wall, an eraser, a shoelace, a key or a key ring, your hair, an old telephone book, toothbrush, pair of jeans...
It’s just not there when you reach out for it and you get nothing.
And a tiny part of me goes empty. I sometimes wonder whether it is a universal-psychological-phenomenon.
eXcuse me
I had accompanied a fren cum colleague of mine to the nearby nbds - the so called departmental store. she bought at least 7 varieties of pickle.... i was already amazed by that, when i saw this big huge junkie kid....i will describe him to you...you will see why he is worth mentioning...
he is this huge, huge-built kid... i mean thrice the size of what he should be...bulging from every available angle. but he is short...
fat and short, dark in color.
he is dressed in a fashionable pair of shorts... pulled down to the desperate point of dropping down...the hip-hop style, i think it is called.
he is slurping a can of fanta in the most disgusting manner, and as he does that he is ordering a lil sister-like girl...who seems to be his maid...to keep what he desires in the shopping basket she is holding...the basket is half the size of the girl...and this fat guy is ordering around...this and that...to the girl to drop into the basket....
now i was already amazed at that scene...
when i encounter this chap at the payment counter.
XCUSE ME-EE...XCUSE MEEE - he shouts at me in the most irritating jingle....and he repeats it...
"XCUSS Meee...XCuss mee-eeee....we are illiterate.!!..not literate!! like you uuu...so we don't know how to speak Enggg-lish...XCuss meee"
It was a total disgust. i gave a similar reply to him..."i Xcuss you...You are XCussed"
That's it.
My irritation is still there. Not so much for his XCuss...than the way he was acting smart with the girl with the basket in front of him. Gosh!
he is this huge, huge-built kid... i mean thrice the size of what he should be...bulging from every available angle. but he is short...
fat and short, dark in color.
he is dressed in a fashionable pair of shorts... pulled down to the desperate point of dropping down...the hip-hop style, i think it is called.
he is slurping a can of fanta in the most disgusting manner, and as he does that he is ordering a lil sister-like girl...who seems to be his maid...to keep what he desires in the shopping basket she is holding...the basket is half the size of the girl...and this fat guy is ordering around...this and that...to the girl to drop into the basket....
now i was already amazed at that scene...
when i encounter this chap at the payment counter.
XCUSE ME-EE...XCUSE MEEE - he shouts at me in the most irritating jingle....and he repeats it...
"XCUSS Meee...XCuss mee-eeee....we are illiterate.!!..not literate!! like you uuu...so we don't know how to speak Enggg-lish...XCuss meee"
It was a total disgust. i gave a similar reply to him..."i Xcuss you...You are XCussed"
That's it.
My irritation is still there. Not so much for his XCuss...than the way he was acting smart with the girl with the basket in front of him. Gosh!
Friday, May 25, 2007
morning walk
i went for a walk this morning with the digi... the first sight i caught - this long serpentile queue of cabs and bikes... waiting at the petrol pump
This Ratankar Bihar on way to Mangalbazaar is being renovated... can you see how the bajra is being protected by the iron bars...and the tiny man with folded hands in front of it must be its protector...
the goddess in her chariot.
the chariot... and its wheels.
the chariot, on the left.
bhaktajans on the right.
There are two goddesses during Macchindranath festival. One of them was intact...but the other chariot, raath, was still being constructed... (in this pic)after it went down a few week back. The small one is intact.
This is Macchindranath... it's temporarily put in nearby satal......
and the paraphernelia.....A short trip on way back...to Mangal Bazaar.........
This is the king's palace... there is a beautiful courtyard in here... it's now a museum..........
King Bhupatendra with his folded hands....he dreamt Lord Krishna in his sleep one night asking the king to build a temple for him....
Honacha....chwela-baji...wo and piro aloo....yummy! but it's said, it isn't as good as used to be...
This is the famous ma-marru galli in mangalbazar... it's barfi are a favorite to all kathmanduites
This goddess is the reason it's called Ma-marru galli.....
King Bhupatendra with his folded hands....he dreamt Lord Krishna in his sleep one night asking the king to build a temple for him....
this is the Krishna mandir the king built...
the durbarsquare...mangal bazaar!
.....had my cam anti-light when i clicked this....
Honacha....chwela-baji...wo and piro aloo....yummy! but it's said, it isn't as good as used to be...
This is the famous ma-marru galli in mangalbazar... it's barfi are a favorite to all kathmanduites
This goddess is the reason it's called Ma-marru galli.....In this galli, there's this goddess. People who learnt witchcraft came here for prayer....
Ma-maru galli...literally means...where you wouldn't want to go.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
the globe
the first thing that hits my mind when i say 'globe' is the television program on travel&living - the globetrotter...it is quite a channel going on there...v.interesting, i like it, but hardly watch it...guess why.
on the globe,
the ocean are painted blue. the ball crisscrossed with meridians, longitudes and latitudes, degrees, equinox.....the colorful country boundaries....
wait there - i think there are continental boundaries to start with...then international boundaries, and national boundaries...
name of countries fill the small globe on my table....and the capital cities on a dot.
without the measurements and the marks, colors and the props, and without the nomenclature that beautify it.....i guess the globe would look naked...unpainted...bare and wild.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Eraser
The eraser is an interesting object. It reduces itself as it disappear lines on your pages.
It’s like bad memory cells, if there are any.
The pencil is at the other end of the continuum - it reduces itself as it creates. Thus if you take a pencil and an eraser, they are at two different poles - the lead and the eraser - different natures.
But they gel together - like people of different nature. The existence of one depends on the other. The significance of pencil to many is because it's erasable...the eraser is there because of the pencil.
It’s like bad memory cells, if there are any.
The pencil is at the other end of the continuum - it reduces itself as it creates. Thus if you take a pencil and an eraser, they are at two different poles - the lead and the eraser - different natures.
But they gel together - like people of different nature. The existence of one depends on the other. The significance of pencil to many is because it's erasable...the eraser is there because of the pencil.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
circles
it's like everyone's in their own damn world as it is supposed to be...and it is just the interlinking circles of concern that is connecting one life to the other and sometimes the circles tend to drift away and not touch each other...that is when the link between friends and sisters and lovers and brothers and mothers get weakened and sometimes when it rains and we sit with a cup of coffee watching the raindrops sliding down the windowpane, we wonder - 'nothing has changed...the rain still slides down the pane... i am still drinking coffee...different places, change in routine...surrounded by different people but i am still the me and would love to be ... where i enjoyed'...then, we drop a mail to a long lost friend, extend a hand to your lover, call up the brother, drop by to say hi to the uncle and the circles are interlinked again.
Friday, May 18, 2007
recent read
Every road towards a better state of society is blocked, sooner or later, by war, by threats of war, by prepareations for war. ...............War is a purely human phenomenon. The lower animals fight duels in the heat of sexual excitement and kill for food and occasionally for sport. ...........................Some social insects, it is true, go out to fight in armies; but their attacks are always directed against members of another species. Man is unique in organizing the mass murder of his own species.
(Start of the chapter 'War' by Huxley)
Aldous Huxley in Ends and Means, 1937 has quite aptly analyzed the nature of war and the causes of war. What i found most intriguing though was the last few paragraphs of his writing where he has considered the psychological causes of war and how they might be eliminated. He says War is sometimes welcome because peace-time occupations seem boring, humiliating and pointless - which i think held more true in his time...1930s .......now this is rarely applicable or more so, there are so many wars already ongoing that we have not had yet that boredom felt of peace-time...where is peace-time? However, he had given a solution pertaining to job-rotation which he believed would remove the boredom in the occupations.
The second psychological phenomenon during wartime was the decline in suicide rate - as during war-time, people had heightened significanc and purposefulness of life as opposed to peace-time. Danger heightens the sense of social solidarity and quickens patriotic enthusiam. Life takes on sense and meaning and is lived at a high pitch of emotional intensity.
Both the psychological causes of war seem very convincing amongst the many other nationalistic, political, religious, economic, social and power gaining reasons of war he sites. The psychological reasons of war are less thought of and more in the individual's control as opposed to all the other reasons why societies, sects and countries fight.
(Start of the chapter 'War' by Huxley)
Aldous Huxley in Ends and Means, 1937 has quite aptly analyzed the nature of war and the causes of war. What i found most intriguing though was the last few paragraphs of his writing where he has considered the psychological causes of war and how they might be eliminated. He says War is sometimes welcome because peace-time occupations seem boring, humiliating and pointless - which i think held more true in his time...1930s .......now this is rarely applicable or more so, there are so many wars already ongoing that we have not had yet that boredom felt of peace-time...where is peace-time? However, he had given a solution pertaining to job-rotation which he believed would remove the boredom in the occupations.
The second psychological phenomenon during wartime was the decline in suicide rate - as during war-time, people had heightened significanc and purposefulness of life as opposed to peace-time. Danger heightens the sense of social solidarity and quickens patriotic enthusiam. Life takes on sense and meaning and is lived at a high pitch of emotional intensity.
Both the psychological causes of war seem very convincing amongst the many other nationalistic, political, religious, economic, social and power gaining reasons of war he sites. The psychological reasons of war are less thought of and more in the individual's control as opposed to all the other reasons why societies, sects and countries fight.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
more rain
its been raining continuously in kathmandu since yesterday. its one of those irritating rains which finds a way to seep into everything. whatever you touch or see is wet, being dry seems somewhat of a luxury. i got into office early for no reason at all. maybe i was here to prepare myself for the bashing i was scheduled to get this afternoon, and the rain somehow set the mood right. while raining, the human race seems to have gone to one of those sci-fi movie age where everything is gray-scaled, wet and sad.
i dozed off watching manhattan for the second time yesterdy. i was in my typical rested position with the pillow propped up behind me, surrounded by phone cords, my notebook and a huxley book faced down. when i opened my eyes disturbed by someone, my mom and brother were staring down at me. 'Look at her!' she said. the room was filled with the loud sweet background music from the movie and woody was in his own self chattering to diane. 'how can u sleep with this loud............' mom's voice faded on my ears as i went back to sweet slumber.
i dozed off watching manhattan for the second time yesterdy. i was in my typical rested position with the pillow propped up behind me, surrounded by phone cords, my notebook and a huxley book faced down. when i opened my eyes disturbed by someone, my mom and brother were staring down at me. 'Look at her!' she said. the room was filled with the loud sweet background music from the movie and woody was in his own self chattering to diane. 'how can u sleep with this loud............' mom's voice faded on my ears as i went back to sweet slumber.
today
it's raining...pittary pattary rain...on the roofs of the houses ...tin roofs...clay roofs....concrete roofs...and on buses and taxis and helmets....
it was typical traffic jam today with some tiff going on between micro bus drivers and the police early morning....the tempo i was in took a de-tour....and i had to walk a stretch to my office.....i got in half an hour late....... the micro buses about 20 in number were blocking the main road....and there was big commotion...traffic jam...people walking...what a sight to see!
okie...time to go home...and eat...
to listen to some good music...read...
and sleep...maybe i will watch a movie....
it was typical traffic jam today with some tiff going on between micro bus drivers and the police early morning....the tempo i was in took a de-tour....and i had to walk a stretch to my office.....i got in half an hour late....... the micro buses about 20 in number were blocking the main road....and there was big commotion...traffic jam...people walking...what a sight to see!
okie...time to go home...and eat...
to listen to some good music...read...
and sleep...maybe i will watch a movie....
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Idiosyncracies-i hope i got the spelling right
what's your problem? Juni asked in fury, as the gaze of the gang-by-the-corner followed her.
She was dressed in a white kurti with small green petals on it. She loved the print. She looked pretty in it - all her flab straightened by the cotton, and she had let her hair loose unlike other days. That was the reason for the whistles and the songs when she passed the last corner to reach her home.
She felt safe when she put down the handbag in front of the mirror. She thought the interview went well. She had answered all the questions - maybe she will get the job.
She got an engaged tone when she called up Pranita. Her friend had been attacked two nights ago in her house. The dad had been injured seriously by the robbers. They had come with khukuris and knifes. 15 stitches on the head Prani had cried on the phone and she kept sobbing till she fell asleep over the phone, her friend consoling her from the other end.
Juni hated thinking of all the sad things in the world. She had stopped listening to the news, and had stopped paper subscriptions two months back when all news that was there on TV or the headlines were of either accidents, bombardments, killings, or robberies. But as the cliché fatalistic saying goes - who can stop what's destined to happen? - honi lai kasle talna sakcha ra?
She was hungry. She went to the kitchen. It was in a mess - nothing new.
Everyday, her elder brother cooked for both of them, and left the kitchen in a mess. Pots and pans to be cleaned, open packet of bread, egg shells, garlic, ginger and potato peels a neat heap on the counter. He was on a night job - call centre. He had even developed a weird accent - he called it Australian. She could tell it was far from being one- but sounded a copycat for sure - trying to be something he is not. But it was the best job he could get with his qualifications. And it was safer - much safer than his previous job - making marketing drives - driving his bike all day in the horrible traffic to sell branded water bottles. Whoever would buy branded water bottles, she thought, but they did. Manus got calls from officers and managers of so called big companies for his water bottles, through his acquaintances he had there.
(to be contd...)
She was dressed in a white kurti with small green petals on it. She loved the print. She looked pretty in it - all her flab straightened by the cotton, and she had let her hair loose unlike other days. That was the reason for the whistles and the songs when she passed the last corner to reach her home.
She felt safe when she put down the handbag in front of the mirror. She thought the interview went well. She had answered all the questions - maybe she will get the job.
She got an engaged tone when she called up Pranita. Her friend had been attacked two nights ago in her house. The dad had been injured seriously by the robbers. They had come with khukuris and knifes. 15 stitches on the head Prani had cried on the phone and she kept sobbing till she fell asleep over the phone, her friend consoling her from the other end.
Juni hated thinking of all the sad things in the world. She had stopped listening to the news, and had stopped paper subscriptions two months back when all news that was there on TV or the headlines were of either accidents, bombardments, killings, or robberies. But as the cliché fatalistic saying goes - who can stop what's destined to happen? - honi lai kasle talna sakcha ra?
She was hungry. She went to the kitchen. It was in a mess - nothing new.
Everyday, her elder brother cooked for both of them, and left the kitchen in a mess. Pots and pans to be cleaned, open packet of bread, egg shells, garlic, ginger and potato peels a neat heap on the counter. He was on a night job - call centre. He had even developed a weird accent - he called it Australian. She could tell it was far from being one- but sounded a copycat for sure - trying to be something he is not. But it was the best job he could get with his qualifications. And it was safer - much safer than his previous job - making marketing drives - driving his bike all day in the horrible traffic to sell branded water bottles. Whoever would buy branded water bottles, she thought, but they did. Manus got calls from officers and managers of so called big companies for his water bottles, through his acquaintances he had there.
(to be contd...)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
the gr8ness guide
haywire! haywire!
the world is haywire... but it is connected with wires...
vibes and feelings
thoughts and hunches
intuitions and senses
these are the things that connect the world
while we think it is the WWW that keeps the touch...
and the fibre-optics on which we survive....
sleek SUVs, the top most position,
all that heavy pay checks
big bunglows...n a free world trip
wouldn't help a bit if you ain't got the heart for it............
what you say?
so what should we do about it.......? huh?
all the robin sharma i read to boost my spirits
seem to have rubbed off along the weeks on hectic schedules throughout....
these lines must be the flimsy remains of what i read in him.....
i thought he was a callous guy who talked BIG
but after a second thought i don't see anyone not being 'Great'
after he follows the Greatness Guide... what's the harm in trying?!
the worst that can happen is.......you become either good or v. good if not Great...
the world is haywire... but it is connected with wires...
vibes and feelings
thoughts and hunches
intuitions and senses
these are the things that connect the world
while we think it is the WWW that keeps the touch...
and the fibre-optics on which we survive....
sleek SUVs, the top most position,
all that heavy pay checks
big bunglows...n a free world trip
wouldn't help a bit if you ain't got the heart for it............
what you say?
so what should we do about it.......? huh?
all the robin sharma i read to boost my spirits
seem to have rubbed off along the weeks on hectic schedules throughout....
these lines must be the flimsy remains of what i read in him.....
i thought he was a callous guy who talked BIG
but after a second thought i don't see anyone not being 'Great'
after he follows the Greatness Guide... what's the harm in trying?!
the worst that can happen is.......you become either good or v. good if not Great...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
jumbo
the people around me are just people around me...
n very few special people around me...
i think when that scenario changes to many people who are special around m.e. .... life would sound better...more greener ...i suppose or mayb not... that could just be my general perception on 'the grass is greener on the other side' concept... or mayb not.
'i have many acquaintances but very few friends' - one of my friends says to me quite often and i wonder... hmm... ... isn't that true with everyone?
when he means friends...he means true...soul-mate kind of stuff...surely....
i smtimes wonder what it would have been like if special moments, dialogues, visions and feelings could have been highlighted and stored for later references.... it would have been really good... those devices, if built someday would be a great boon to people like me who hardly remember special events and dialogues and dates and moments... ....
btw... have you seen an elephant suckle? here it is.... i captured it in an elephant breeding centre... around chitwan area...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
evreythnig is graet. thnaks for asknig.
Thomas L. Friedman goes on and on in his book to drive at one conclusion as to how the World is Flat. . . and your hajar prayas at telling him that you've understood wouldn't stop him from expalining that the world is indeed flat.
I have just started the book. it talks about how Banglore is as an outsourced city and it talks about Dalian, the Banglore of China for the Japanese.
There's more to come on middle east, technologies and blogging making the world flatter. So will keep you updated.........
3 good things about today:
1. the mouse will play when the cat is away - my boss is away for a brief while...tho the crunch continues.
2. i just had icecream with a friend...i love treating myself to it once in a while
3. i had a good good sleep after a long time yesterday....good and long sleep when you wake up and find that you are actually late for work... and i had this intense sense of satisfaction...
I have just started the book. it talks about how Banglore is as an outsourced city and it talks about Dalian, the Banglore of China for the Japanese.
There's more to come on middle east, technologies and blogging making the world flatter. So will keep you updated.........
3 good things about today:
1. the mouse will play when the cat is away - my boss is away for a brief while...tho the crunch continues.
2. i just had icecream with a friend...i love treating myself to it once in a while
3. i had a good good sleep after a long time yesterday....good and long sleep when you wake up and find that you are actually late for work... and i had this intense sense of satisfaction...
Friday, January 26, 2007
too boiled to eat
'what have u been doing these days?'
i give a list of stuff i have been doing lately...it's a tediously long list...which makes me occupied 24*7.
at the end of my description she gives a satarical smile :> 'is that all?' - the smile says. I raise my eyebrows meaning - 'did i say smthing wrong? did i hear the wrong question?'
she says, 'all that is fine...what on the intellectual side? what have you been doing which tears your brains apart?'
uummpppp..............i go into an uneasy silence..................
'hhmmm.....in-te-llec-tual?' i pronounce it as slow as is permissible.
'wot?'
'i.......i......started a book lately ... it's abt a women's story in iraq........'
'but that's not intellectual nah.....what have you been doing to strain ur brains...?......tell me....'
i give my blank stare and whisper as if whimpering ......'nnothhing', and i know she is disappointed.
after she is out of the room, i rack my brains to remember what i have been doing on the
inte-lectual side? i have been reading....yes, a book..........
i have been reading the person of the year issue of TIME...it's awesome... but it's still information i realize. i do a lot of document reading on the office comp and lotsa reports and churned out stuff.......but where's the thinking?
i feel like a boiled vegetable under the whoooooose of the aircon. i suddenly hate the mehendi painted hands on the keys. i feel the sun is too glaring against the blinds, and all the tubelights too gaudy when the country is doomed to load shedding.
:) stay positive .... stay positive...stay positive :) - the new mantra..........
i give a list of stuff i have been doing lately...it's a tediously long list...which makes me occupied 24*7.
at the end of my description she gives a satarical smile :> 'is that all?' - the smile says. I raise my eyebrows meaning - 'did i say smthing wrong? did i hear the wrong question?'
she says, 'all that is fine...what on the intellectual side? what have you been doing which tears your brains apart?'
uummpppp..............i go into an uneasy silence..................
'hhmmm.....in-te-llec-tual?' i pronounce it as slow as is permissible.
'wot?'
'i.......i......started a book lately ... it's abt a women's story in iraq........'
'but that's not intellectual nah.....what have you been doing to strain ur brains...?......tell me....'
i give my blank stare and whisper as if whimpering ......'nnothhing', and i know she is disappointed.
after she is out of the room, i rack my brains to remember what i have been doing on the
inte-lectual side? i have been reading....yes, a book..........
i have been reading the person of the year issue of TIME...it's awesome... but it's still information i realize. i do a lot of document reading on the office comp and lotsa reports and churned out stuff.......but where's the thinking?
i feel like a boiled vegetable under the whoooooose of the aircon. i suddenly hate the mehendi painted hands on the keys. i feel the sun is too glaring against the blinds, and all the tubelights too gaudy when the country is doomed to load shedding.
:) stay positive .... stay positive...stay positive :) - the new mantra..........
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Workaholic(WHLC)
35+65+693+58+69596+6958+245+658+845+3215+651+856+11+25465+2554+32 -enter-
damn!
how come?
'here's ur tea dear'
35+65+693+58+69596+6958+245+658+845+3215+651+85.... tring! tring! tring! tring!
why don't you ever pick up the phone?!
Shh...damn...all over again...
35+65+693+58+69596+6958+245+658+845+3215...651...taxation..no, there has to be a reversal made...where's the voucher....
13.5 percent times 3 for 12 months...and then...
dyaddy! dyaddy! look at me....i am a spiderman!...dyaddy!...dyaddy? dyaaa...huunn..mommy...
why do you scare the child so much...can't you do those stuff at your office?
come, we will play...spiderman and superman...rite? dhishum...dhishum....
13.5 percent...tring, tring, tring...tring, tring, tring...
Hel-lu...mr. devdass association...this is the residence though...
Phone: think, we have met the right person...are you at your home computer sir? working on your office work?
WHLC: aaa....i ....actually...aaa...no......
Phone: don't move, don't try to escape...all routes will be closing...and we have surrounded your house...you have crossed the work limit hours per week...you are charged of working too much and contributing excessively to the annual GDP per capita... you will be penalized...to a forced vacation with your family to hawaii for the next three weeks...all costs born by the rehab....
WHLC: you can't do that...its a crime...i haven't finished the project yet...it's not fair...
Phone:don't make it any difficult for us...your computer will automatically shut off in the next 10mins. All your work-related files and folders will be sent to your office where you can find them after your vacation....thank you for listening patiently to us...enjoy your vacation!
WHLC: its not fair... oh my god...the computer is shutting off...someone stop it... help...this is...oh my god...someone...
Thus, the workholic was doomed to a three weeks' vacation to the much relief of his family. The WHLC however had torturous hours staring at the clear blue ocean and the sunny sky... i am sure he saw his project and his calculations on them too!
damn!
how come?
'here's ur tea dear'
35+65+693+58+69596+6958+245+658+845+3215+651+85.... tring! tring! tring! tring!
why don't you ever pick up the phone?!
Shh...damn...all over again...
35+65+693+58+69596+6958+245+658+845+3215...651...taxation..no, there has to be a reversal made...where's the voucher....
13.5 percent times 3 for 12 months...and then...
dyaddy! dyaddy! look at me....i am a spiderman!...dyaddy!...dyaddy? dyaaa...huunn..mommy...
why do you scare the child so much...can't you do those stuff at your office?
come, we will play...spiderman and superman...rite? dhishum...dhishum....
13.5 percent...tring, tring, tring...tring, tring, tring...
Hel-lu...mr. devdass association...this is the residence though...
Phone: think, we have met the right person...are you at your home computer sir? working on your office work?
WHLC: aaa....i ....actually...aaa...no......
Phone: don't move, don't try to escape...all routes will be closing...and we have surrounded your house...you have crossed the work limit hours per week...you are charged of working too much and contributing excessively to the annual GDP per capita... you will be penalized...to a forced vacation with your family to hawaii for the next three weeks...all costs born by the rehab....
WHLC: you can't do that...its a crime...i haven't finished the project yet...it's not fair...
Phone:don't make it any difficult for us...your computer will automatically shut off in the next 10mins. All your work-related files and folders will be sent to your office where you can find them after your vacation....thank you for listening patiently to us...enjoy your vacation!
WHLC: its not fair... oh my god...the computer is shutting off...someone stop it... help...this is...oh my god...someone...
Thus, the workholic was doomed to a three weeks' vacation to the much relief of his family. The WHLC however had torturous hours staring at the clear blue ocean and the sunny sky... i am sure he saw his project and his calculations on them too!
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
long time no ramble
Soliloquy: wish i knew my next station...i'd probably pull the bell right now... but i will just move on...and on and on...to see beyond the next corner, the next and the next...
the grey cells in the head seem to be numb and the fingers just lull over the black keys, to type in their own pace. the knots and bolts of the body seem to be chugging on their own, like an old train.
the situation is such- i don't know what i just said. i don't know what i am supposed to do. i called three extensions to get no reply and there is a desperate need to talk to someone on things you don't want to discuss.
n then the phone rings for me to give nonsensical replies like - i don't know and it seems so and guess it is right.
efficiencies and inefficiencies. effectiveness and ineffectiveness. management terms go haywire in the head to mix into potpourri of jargonless haphazard.
Information: Anil Ambani was voted the favorite businessman, Laxmi Mittal the favorite NRI and Sonia Gandhi the favorite politician...and yes, Amitabh the fav actor as usual -TOI-christmas day
Compliment: yesterday, got a strange kind of statement for me...it went - i like your way of communication, i think i have learned smthing myself - i was like ? ?
branding is deep deep deep...deeper than I ever thought it would be. its hectic. its tiring. its difficult and its meticulous. i don't do it. i see it being done - that's all the more difficult.
there are these 'thought ofthe day' that a friend of mine keeps posted me with each day, some are good ones like -
do what you want,
be who you are
and
say what you feel,
because
those who mind, don't matter
and
those who matter, don't mind
and a very applicable one:
Don't make promise when you are in joy.
Don't reply when you are sad.
Don't take decision when you are angry.
Think twice..., Act Wise.
n you go thinking like...hmmm......
the grey cells in the head seem to be numb and the fingers just lull over the black keys, to type in their own pace. the knots and bolts of the body seem to be chugging on their own, like an old train.
the situation is such- i don't know what i just said. i don't know what i am supposed to do. i called three extensions to get no reply and there is a desperate need to talk to someone on things you don't want to discuss.
n then the phone rings for me to give nonsensical replies like - i don't know and it seems so and guess it is right.
efficiencies and inefficiencies. effectiveness and ineffectiveness. management terms go haywire in the head to mix into potpourri of jargonless haphazard.
Information: Anil Ambani was voted the favorite businessman, Laxmi Mittal the favorite NRI and Sonia Gandhi the favorite politician...and yes, Amitabh the fav actor as usual -TOI-christmas day
Compliment: yesterday, got a strange kind of statement for me...it went - i like your way of communication, i think i have learned smthing myself - i was like ? ?
branding is deep deep deep...deeper than I ever thought it would be. its hectic. its tiring. its difficult and its meticulous. i don't do it. i see it being done - that's all the more difficult.
there are these 'thought ofthe day' that a friend of mine keeps posted me with each day, some are good ones like -
do what you want,
be who you are
and
say what you feel,
because
those who mind, don't matter
and
those who matter, don't mind
and a very applicable one:
Don't make promise when you are in joy.
Don't reply when you are sad.
Don't take decision when you are angry.
Think twice..., Act Wise.
n you go thinking like...hmmm......
Monday, December 25, 2006
the waiting
made the phone call
rambled through my handbag
stared at the ceiling
counted the overhead lights
analyzed all the paintings on the wall
read the famous sayings posted there
talked to the next stranger
listened to his woes
rambled the bag again
made a second call
stared enough at the clock
to see the minute-hand move
stared at the ceiling again
talked to the next stranger
passed a couple of smiles around
to get back v. few
i start thinking - what a world it is
all strangers around
jus then the door opens
the priest says - next!
ah! i sigh - the waiting is over
rambled through my handbag
stared at the ceiling
counted the overhead lights
analyzed all the paintings on the wall
read the famous sayings posted there
talked to the next stranger
listened to his woes
rambled the bag again
made a second call
stared enough at the clock
to see the minute-hand move
stared at the ceiling again
talked to the next stranger
passed a couple of smiles around
to get back v. few
i start thinking - what a world it is
all strangers around
jus then the door opens
the priest says - next!
ah! i sigh - the waiting is over
Monday, November 27, 2006
mandah:
the seasons of change...the festive season...
tell me it's there...
now and forever...
celebrate daily smiles...
the fun and flavor...
the evenings subtle ...
and the mornings bright...
frivolous minds...
healthy smiles...
oh, naughty eyes...
tell me why...
oh, don wanna shed...
this state of mind.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
the right glove
So the two of them were in search of the right glove as the title above rightly puts it. One of them was sweaty in the bright lit store and the other one cold. But both of them frantic of one common goal - finding the right glove. Now right here clearly creates a confusion - it was not the right as in "the correct one" but right as in the left and the right - the glove for the right hand. They were sure of the left one - the one they held - all chosen and decided - a sleek black leather glove - all alone on top of the rack -alone - set apart from the rest - to show it was the "chosen" one - waiting for its mate - the right one. The two of them had nothing else in mind - even if they did have smthing, it took a back seat at that moment to find the right glove. They looked for the glove among the other gloves, behind the othe gloves, beneath-under-above-between-below-beside- but the perfect match in the tiny heap of about 20pairs of gloves were not to be found. A few had already tied the knot- so that wen u thot u found the perfect match, it was already tied up with some other pair.
So as we searched for right pair, we became a lil philosophical, a lil pensive, a lil more tired, a lil irritated. Let's not buy a glove if we can't get a perfect match - said he. And the thot was contemplated - and processed - in the lil black box atop the neck. Nah - let's find the perfect match - left glove in the left hand and the right one in the right - they will be a lil different - after all, they have individual existence - their own idiosyncracies - they will be a lil different - and they will be together - that's the fun of it all - that's the joy! And the payment made, the a-lil-different-pair-of-gloves stayed in the bag contented to find the perfect match!
So as we searched for right pair, we became a lil philosophical, a lil pensive, a lil more tired, a lil irritated. Let's not buy a glove if we can't get a perfect match - said he. And the thot was contemplated - and processed - in the lil black box atop the neck. Nah - let's find the perfect match - left glove in the left hand and the right one in the right - they will be a lil different - after all, they have individual existence - their own idiosyncracies - they will be a lil different - and they will be together - that's the fun of it all - that's the joy! And the payment made, the a-lil-different-pair-of-gloves stayed in the bag contented to find the perfect match!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
one word
Surely the anniversary of this li'l space is long past due...
Early morning today, i learnt the meaning of a word...zeitgeist.
i didn't know any such word was in existence. But surely it is, and quite a nice word it is... it means the spirit of the times...
Life has reached that crucial stage where one needs to make not just one but quite a few critical decisions. Decisions that would shape life forever.
there is a site called oneword.com...i have tried it a few times..it gives u certain second to write on a particular word....it's amazing how things come out of your mind in that time....it's fun to write and then to read someone's else's entry in that many seconds....
Early morning today, i learnt the meaning of a word...zeitgeist.
i didn't know any such word was in existence. But surely it is, and quite a nice word it is... it means the spirit of the times...
Life has reached that crucial stage where one needs to make not just one but quite a few critical decisions. Decisions that would shape life forever.
there is a site called oneword.com...i have tried it a few times..it gives u certain second to write on a particular word....it's amazing how things come out of your mind in that time....it's fun to write and then to read someone's else's entry in that many seconds....
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
fizzy feelings
I am on my bed lying flat staring at the white ceiling. The bus whoozes towards me on the empty street, almost hits me and whoozes past me in the dark empty streets beyond. A next bus comes does the same. A motorbike, a cab, a car and a truck and the number increases as i stare at the white ceiling. And all of them almost hit me to taper into nothingness.
A fire at one end and a fool at other. I was pretty hit by that sms i got from a fren. Cigarette and a :colon and that phrase. A short sms that was, but quite solid.
Household work is the main stay for many women even today. But why do we feel so unproductive when on a puja day all we do is make diyo lights or prepare flower garlands or mithais?
A fire at one end and a fool at other. I was pretty hit by that sms i got from a fren. Cigarette and a :colon and that phrase. A short sms that was, but quite solid.
Household work is the main stay for many women even today. But why do we feel so unproductive when on a puja day all we do is make diyo lights or prepare flower garlands or mithais?
Sunday, October 22, 2006
smses and atms
shrtcuts r taking over the lng-routes
gve me a mssed call wen u're there.
wot? the mom asks in stark disgust.
not jus simple daily conversations like these, most momz are lost wen the kids be engrossed in the 'whose line is it anyway'z n 'hitchhiker's guide to galaxy'z ...
n the kids go bust xplaining them the sequences that it's monica who's married and ross who fell in love with rachel n it's phoebe who loves to sing...
n e ways,
todayz three:
1. cleaning cleaning...cleaning my room after such a long time... off its dust n mess
2. clicking pics with bro in the self-click mode
3. tihar shopping ... bhogatez, lakhamariz, swan-ma n masala (dry fruits)
gve me a mssed call wen u're there.
wot? the mom asks in stark disgust.
not jus simple daily conversations like these, most momz are lost wen the kids be engrossed in the 'whose line is it anyway'z n 'hitchhiker's guide to galaxy'z ...
n the kids go bust xplaining them the sequences that it's monica who's married and ross who fell in love with rachel n it's phoebe who loves to sing...
n e ways,
todayz three:
1. cleaning cleaning...cleaning my room after such a long time... off its dust n mess
2. clicking pics with bro in the self-click mode
3. tihar shopping ... bhogatez, lakhamariz, swan-ma n masala (dry fruits)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
copycat
M trying to copy smthing from a blog i came across a few weeks back. Courtsey to the blog...
Three good things today:
1. had lunch together with frens
2. the rain
3. live music
Three good things today:
1. had lunch together with frens
2. the rain
3. live music
Monday, October 16, 2006
scramble
Shris has a new member in her family...a german shephard...she's called DJ - guess what it stands for ...Dashing Junior...her mom is called Dashing...
She said DJ will have her family reunion in Tihar when all her relatives who has DJ's kins will come to her place. Happy reunioun!
Bro asked me to draft a resignation letter...then i kept on thinking... how the hell does one write a resignation letter? it's a pretty irritating task for one who has never done it before.
One senior guy at work accidentally picked up my phone to praise it...but old model as it is...he couldn't say anything and said it's a nice blue... on which i replied ya, the phone's reception is good. What kind of conversation is that to pass the day?
Deep bright red... all of us three girls had deep bright red shirts on by accident... and we were telling melon he shud've had on his too... we could take a snap and frame it up to read... the redincidental day!
so tomoro could be a walk walk walking day for all-o-fuzz... something's brewing in the air...Probabale bandh ... we heard the rumour...
how can one get used to it? all of us kind of expect on the back of our minds that we'll have to walk to work in a gap of one month or so...coz it's all there...nothing of political nature has been settled ... not until the next meeting atleast... and then, all unsettled matters are brought to the streets...
She said DJ will have her family reunion in Tihar when all her relatives who has DJ's kins will come to her place. Happy reunioun!
Bro asked me to draft a resignation letter...then i kept on thinking... how the hell does one write a resignation letter? it's a pretty irritating task for one who has never done it before.
One senior guy at work accidentally picked up my phone to praise it...but old model as it is...he couldn't say anything and said it's a nice blue... on which i replied ya, the phone's reception is good. What kind of conversation is that to pass the day?
Deep bright red... all of us three girls had deep bright red shirts on by accident... and we were telling melon he shud've had on his too... we could take a snap and frame it up to read... the redincidental day!
so tomoro could be a walk walk walking day for all-o-fuzz... something's brewing in the air...Probabale bandh ... we heard the rumour...
how can one get used to it? all of us kind of expect on the back of our minds that we'll have to walk to work in a gap of one month or so...coz it's all there...nothing of political nature has been settled ... not until the next meeting atleast... and then, all unsettled matters are brought to the streets...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
cya 2moro
Too tired to post anything.
so here's a corrs lyrics ...courtesy: lyricsdomain.com
so here's a corrs lyrics ...courtesy: lyricsdomain.com
When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go
Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts
Sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
(When your day is night alone)
Hold on, hold on
(If you feel like letting go)
Hold on
If you think you've had too much of this life
Well hang on
Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand
Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
When you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you're not alone
If you're on your own
In this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
Of this life
To hang on
Well, everybody hurts
Sometimes, everybody cries
And everybody hurts
Sometimes
And everybody hurts
Sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
(Everybody hurts
You are not alone)
Monday, October 09, 2006
pears and plums
Nice painting na? found it on blogs of note... you can even bid for it!
http://rebeccabischoff.blogspot.com/
Fruits: direct from wiki -
Fruit is a part of a tree or bush that contains seeds. It is often eaten as a food.
Most fruits we eat contain a lot of water. They contain natural sugar. They have a large amount of dietary fiber at the peel, seeds, and fibrous parts. All fruits contain iron, and they are very low in protein and fat content.
Sometimes "to bear fruit" also means "to produce results".
"Fruit" (or "rotten fruit") can also sometimes be slang for "a homosexual". I didn't know that!
Types of fruits:
I found the list of berries of particular interest... didn't know there were so many types of berries! how many have you tried??There's even Huckleberry...
nomenclature seems to have gone out of stock for any berry-berry name towards the end of the list!
Berries
- Blackberry, dewberry, boysenberry, and loganberry
- Raspberry,
- Cloudberry
- Wineberry
- Salmonberry
- Loganberry
- Thimbleberry
- Bearberry
- Bilberry
- Blueberry
- Crowberry
- Timberry
- Cranberry
- Huckleberry
- Lingonberry
- Strawberry Tree , not to be confused with the Strawberry
Other berries:
- Barberry
- Currant , red, black, and white types
- Elderberry
- Gooseberry
- Hackberry
- Honeysuckle: the berries of some species (called honeyberries) are edible, others are poisonous
- Mayapple
- Nannyberry
- Oregon grape
- Sea-buckthorn
- Sea Grape
- Wolfberry
- Mulberry
Sunday, October 08, 2006
lampshades and cool green grass
That's my breakfast...no, i am not on diet... jus love Citruses... is there a plural form to Citrus? don't know...
Anyways, back to the Cubicles (Kuh-beeh-kles) after so many days... to reply to all the greetings that came in.
This period between Dashain and Tihar is real lazy lazy days... coz there are two simultaneous things into play... one, the hangover from Dashain... other, the pre-holiday symptoms of Tihar...
Colorful Lampshades with a light evening music...
Cool wet green grass on a hot humid day...
Today was one of the most hectic days i have had in many many days... everything took place fast and furious... and had to skip lunch...
Shris jus called me on my cell... she is on the phone write now... and I listen to her day's happening...
which means i will have to go now...
have lost my power of multitasking!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
What's that i smell in the air?
i read a short mail on paradigm shift by someone a few days back... and it took me back to one of my college days where we watched a video on a swiss watchmaker and how there was paradigm shift in the industry... so that the Japanese strode over them...
unrelated and insequential stuff like these were hitting my mind all morning... like i was trying to remember the lyrics of the song 'purani jeans' ... i had the whole song written down when our class sang it on the last day of school ...but had never quite understood the meaning!
the duck we were to sacrifice, bit me on my arm - an offensive snap actually... n then it was dead in a matter of minutes.... rather, it was sacrificed... i got pensive after that.. recovered a few times with a few glasses of coke....
i finally go the chance to sit down n finish 'tutor of history' sterday... i liked it unlike many comments i heard abt it.... all in all it has captured the sentiments of a Nepali... quite tastefully....
Last time i met nidhs, she commented that i had changed... haven't had a holistic conversation to find out how and to what extent....
haven't had... hadn't had... haven't had... is that right english? haven't had...if that sounds alright...should be right...
like last year... haven't touched the playing cards for a single hand this dashain.. it's difficult to resist but m learning a few techniques.... don't let others around u play, n it's easier to restrain urself... a selfish motive....but it's working...
m concentrating on using my time more productively... m reading voraciously whatever comes my way... it's necessary...coz i hardly get time to read n e other day...n there's so much to catch up... .... mom thinks i have gone crazy... sitting with a book - on a fine dashain, deserted day... ...yeh toh gayi!......for those not in kathmandu.... the roads are deserted.... shops are all closed... at least those around where i live.... very less traffic, pollution n noise....
n for those v. far off who are confused... it's nawami today... n it's tika day tomorrow!
So, Happy and Peaceful Dashami... that's all i can wish for now! Goodnite.
unrelated and insequential stuff like these were hitting my mind all morning... like i was trying to remember the lyrics of the song 'purani jeans' ... i had the whole song written down when our class sang it on the last day of school ...but had never quite understood the meaning!
the duck we were to sacrifice, bit me on my arm - an offensive snap actually... n then it was dead in a matter of minutes.... rather, it was sacrificed... i got pensive after that.. recovered a few times with a few glasses of coke....
i finally go the chance to sit down n finish 'tutor of history' sterday... i liked it unlike many comments i heard abt it.... all in all it has captured the sentiments of a Nepali... quite tastefully....
Last time i met nidhs, she commented that i had changed... haven't had a holistic conversation to find out how and to what extent....
haven't had... hadn't had... haven't had... is that right english? haven't had...if that sounds alright...should be right...
like last year... haven't touched the playing cards for a single hand this dashain.. it's difficult to resist but m learning a few techniques.... don't let others around u play, n it's easier to restrain urself... a selfish motive....but it's working...
m concentrating on using my time more productively... m reading voraciously whatever comes my way... it's necessary...coz i hardly get time to read n e other day...n there's so much to catch up... .... mom thinks i have gone crazy... sitting with a book - on a fine dashain, deserted day... ...yeh toh gayi!......for those not in kathmandu.... the roads are deserted.... shops are all closed... at least those around where i live.... very less traffic, pollution n noise....
n for those v. far off who are confused... it's nawami today... n it's tika day tomorrow!
So, Happy and Peaceful Dashami... that's all i can wish for now! Goodnite.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
sterday
Was out at dinner sterday. Got a call while we were driving back - there's something outside our home. Few more calls, i find out a guy got killed in an accident with a truck on the bridge, and there are people burning tyres across the street so that no vehicle can pass.
How can anyone predict that a calm day would end like that at 10 o'clock at night? My parents were pretty worried - how are you getting home?
How do we go now? i asked my fren as she kept driving with a grave face. And the look on her face told me it was racing fast.
She took the extra pain to go on a roundabout to drop me by. Thanks to her. The bridge looked as if it was on fire. There were police and people on the road. Huh?
How can anyone predict that a calm day would end like that at 10 o'clock at night? My parents were pretty worried - how are you getting home?
How do we go now? i asked my fren as she kept driving with a grave face. And the look on her face told me it was racing fast.
She took the extra pain to go on a roundabout to drop me by. Thanks to her. The bridge looked as if it was on fire. There were police and people on the road. Huh?
Sunday, September 24, 2006
sparkles and smiles
wasting my time....
resting my mind....
here by the fireside
and the warm light of the love in her eyes....
(floyd)
sometimes all this seems like a dream....
as if you'd wake up one day and find urself in a different world....
n i try to imagine what that world is like...
may be this is a common feeling for all of us....
is it called deja vu? vu ja de? ja vu de?
i don't know...
we met nidhs for lunch sterday... in the middle of our conversations... her phone rang...
n by the look in her eyes , and the way she jumped to talk... i and hope everyone around too could say who it was on the other end!!
that spark in the eyes and the smile is just so revealing huh?
congrats dear!
resting my mind....
here by the fireside
and the warm light of the love in her eyes....
(floyd)
sometimes all this seems like a dream....
as if you'd wake up one day and find urself in a different world....
n i try to imagine what that world is like...
may be this is a common feeling for all of us....
is it called deja vu? vu ja de? ja vu de?
i don't know...
we met nidhs for lunch sterday... in the middle of our conversations... her phone rang...
n by the look in her eyes , and the way she jumped to talk... i and hope everyone around too could say who it was on the other end!!
that spark in the eyes and the smile is just so revealing huh?
congrats dear!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Fud for thot
This could have been easily my fourth blank blog, wherein i come and stare at a blank screen to return untampered. And this could have been my any other day.
New Road was the most pathetic place to be in Kathmandu yesterday evening but surprizingly half the population seemed to be there - doing nothing but walking on the streets to make my every step a pain in the ***
I was telling my mom yesterday - 'Mom, you are the dream customer of every marketer'
If every customer psyche worked as vulnerable as yours, there would be no customer surveys hence. Believe me, she is excited at every corner to all the display of goods under the white tubelight. She doesn't need a repeated TVC, a jingle, an outdoor display or a POP to get her buying what she doesn't need. She will jump at the next chance to empty her wallet. That's because she has been so busy running about, she hardly has time to stop for a breath and shop for herself. 'She is so busy driving, she doesn't have time to fill gas!'
My friends, my colleauges, and my superiors at work ask me once in a while, what's your aim in life? And i look at them, my head reeling to find the perfect answer, to give them that stupid smile. I haven't thought about my life so hard to come up with an aim. I live everyday, one day and the other passes - i know i am living right. But am i going right? If after five years, i look back at this day - would i think then, i should have lived it differently - would i repent that i should have done this and not that? Frankly, i don't know. Today, do i repent at the days i spent two years back? One, i am still not that old to look back at my days or years. And, no, even if i look back, i don't. I didn't know what i'd become, where i would be. I am here and I am happy.
But if i start from a place and walk 20 kms, i'd definitely reach someplace very different. I walked a certain way, which way i don't know and i am lucky to have liked this place, but i may very easily have been crying at this day at what i am doing.
But just because i've worked hard to reach someplace doesn't mean i am on the right direction. If i'd put a direction to myself and worked that 20 kms on it to reach a certain aim i had in mind, i'd definitely have a benchmark to say whether i am happy with what i achieved, and lot of chances i'd reach a better place! But lots of us don't have an aim. We change everyday but are unaware of the direction of change - are we changing in the right direction?
Invariably we change. But just imagine that everyday change to be in the direction of the person we'd like to be 5 years hence. The conscious everyday change mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, ethically, logically - would it be the same as this directionless living we have everyday.
Where i am coming from, is the unconscious living and insensitive mind to a conscious living, and a sensitive mind - which would work towards not just an individual's happiness but also their growth. In turn, their happiness and growth would reflect the society's happiness and growth.
Conscious living could be the buzzword now, i don't know. But Ktm is definitely not on that trend. The chaotic mass of people i saw yesterday - was a disaster to all the buzz words of good living. But to end on a positive note, we will have to try. 'Turn the clock to zero...to start on a Brand New Day'. I just hope!
New Road was the most pathetic place to be in Kathmandu yesterday evening but surprizingly half the population seemed to be there - doing nothing but walking on the streets to make my every step a pain in the ***
I was telling my mom yesterday - 'Mom, you are the dream customer of every marketer'
If every customer psyche worked as vulnerable as yours, there would be no customer surveys hence. Believe me, she is excited at every corner to all the display of goods under the white tubelight. She doesn't need a repeated TVC, a jingle, an outdoor display or a POP to get her buying what she doesn't need. She will jump at the next chance to empty her wallet. That's because she has been so busy running about, she hardly has time to stop for a breath and shop for herself. 'She is so busy driving, she doesn't have time to fill gas!'
My friends, my colleauges, and my superiors at work ask me once in a while, what's your aim in life? And i look at them, my head reeling to find the perfect answer, to give them that stupid smile. I haven't thought about my life so hard to come up with an aim. I live everyday, one day and the other passes - i know i am living right. But am i going right? If after five years, i look back at this day - would i think then, i should have lived it differently - would i repent that i should have done this and not that? Frankly, i don't know. Today, do i repent at the days i spent two years back? One, i am still not that old to look back at my days or years. And, no, even if i look back, i don't. I didn't know what i'd become, where i would be. I am here and I am happy.
But if i start from a place and walk 20 kms, i'd definitely reach someplace very different. I walked a certain way, which way i don't know and i am lucky to have liked this place, but i may very easily have been crying at this day at what i am doing.
But just because i've worked hard to reach someplace doesn't mean i am on the right direction. If i'd put a direction to myself and worked that 20 kms on it to reach a certain aim i had in mind, i'd definitely have a benchmark to say whether i am happy with what i achieved, and lot of chances i'd reach a better place! But lots of us don't have an aim. We change everyday but are unaware of the direction of change - are we changing in the right direction?
Invariably we change. But just imagine that everyday change to be in the direction of the person we'd like to be 5 years hence. The conscious everyday change mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, ethically, logically - would it be the same as this directionless living we have everyday.
Where i am coming from, is the unconscious living and insensitive mind to a conscious living, and a sensitive mind - which would work towards not just an individual's happiness but also their growth. In turn, their happiness and growth would reflect the society's happiness and growth.
Conscious living could be the buzzword now, i don't know. But Ktm is definitely not on that trend. The chaotic mass of people i saw yesterday - was a disaster to all the buzz words of good living. But to end on a positive note, we will have to try. 'Turn the clock to zero...to start on a Brand New Day'. I just hope!
Friday, September 08, 2006
ramble on
As i was giving my blogspot add to a friend today, i was wondering what she would think of all the nonsensical blogs i have here... i got charged up then and there to make this place a little readworthy... which fizzled out in a few moments... no doubt.
But i am amazed at the different kinds of people we have in this world... and how each one of us have different expectations of each other, although if you ask of someone, ... they have a normal reply - i don't expect anything of this or you....
N when you actually don't do or do something that was a little wayward by your or the other person's standard, you actually get the dialogue going - i didn't expect this of you!...
which naturally diverts my mind to the more fundamental query of - what was that you expected of me... which keeps the argument going for sometime for sure.
i once started a book called The diving bell and the Butterfly... it's a fascinating book which i never got till finishing. .... it's written by a paralysed person whose only moving muscles were his left or the right eyelid (i can't remember which... i think it's the right). He dictated the whole book by blinking his eyelids to denote the alphabet he wanted written down.... that's quite a feat huh!! and the writer's a pretty accomplished fellow in his own field...
last week, i read a review on it in the TOI.... which made me reflect on so many incomplete tasks which i leave to get back to ... someday...
like learing the piano... learning to be a good swimmer, taking care of my diet and becoming more jolly....
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Scenes from a Memory
too tired to write anything.... and sleepy.
listening to dream theatre, staring at the screen for some solace. The day's happening flash back to me and i feel dazed as if that wasn't me having lunch or standing on the aisle or waiting for the elevator or typing out an email. I had forgotton Oedipus was the name of a character too, 'oh, really? i never knew it', i had said.
'September is a busy month', I think as mom pour more oil on her palm to massage my head. I feel the sweet sensation of sleepiness and immense feel of tiredness and relaxation as she moves her hand on my scalp. I stare at the ET on my lap as she does it, trying to read the cartoon bubble - it then strikes me that it's weekend in India. I remember my unturned pages of THT that I forgot on my desktop, i visualize it all alone in the darkrooms on the 3rd floor.... tomorrow it's perishable already... it takes me to the QT classes where we calculated the average number of days to keep a perishable item ... and try to validate it with a daily newspaper....
gudnite.
listening to dream theatre, staring at the screen for some solace. The day's happening flash back to me and i feel dazed as if that wasn't me having lunch or standing on the aisle or waiting for the elevator or typing out an email. I had forgotton Oedipus was the name of a character too, 'oh, really? i never knew it', i had said.
'September is a busy month', I think as mom pour more oil on her palm to massage my head. I feel the sweet sensation of sleepiness and immense feel of tiredness and relaxation as she moves her hand on my scalp. I stare at the ET on my lap as she does it, trying to read the cartoon bubble - it then strikes me that it's weekend in India. I remember my unturned pages of THT that I forgot on my desktop, i visualize it all alone in the darkrooms on the 3rd floor.... tomorrow it's perishable already... it takes me to the QT classes where we calculated the average number of days to keep a perishable item ... and try to validate it with a daily newspaper....
gudnite.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Oh!gust
How was August?Usual.
The month saw inflation peaking more than nine percent. It saw fluctuating stock prices, not that the stock exchange is so active here, still. The number of tourists increased. The monetrary policy was revised. Price hike in petroleum was taken back after two days of demonstrations and vandalism. Few other demonstrations took place each day in the valley which created disturbances in various parts of the city. August saw a few gold medals for the country. The winners rode through the city with praise and accolades in garland and tika. UN demanded a more systematic way of management of arms from both sides. August saw the draft constitution which was not well appreciated by few other constitutional experts, should i say? Last but not the least, the month end gave the depressing news to ready us for September - NEA is running at losses and we need to buy candles for the load shedded evenings.
What message is the authority giving us? If you demonstrate enough, like tapasya and the bardan from Mahadeva, you get what you wish for, is it? Don't take the policy as it comes out... wait for a revision? I can't believe a person can get used to such stuff... it's difficult to remember the rules already. Did someone ask for a strong political opinion?
Featured above: August sunset, terrace ropelines
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