sterday

Was out at dinner sterday. Got a call while we were driving back - there's something outside our home. Few more calls, i find out a guy got killed in an accident with a truck on the bridge, and there are people burning tyres across the street so that no vehicle can pass.
How can anyone predict that a calm day would end like that at 10 o'clock at night? My parents were pretty worried - how are you getting home?
How do we go now? i asked my fren as she kept driving with a grave face. And the look on her face told me it was racing fast.
She took the extra pain to go on a roundabout to drop me by. Thanks to her. The bridge looked as if it was on fire. There were police and people on the road. Huh?

sparkles and smiles

wasting my time....
resting my mind....
here by the fireside
and the warm light of the love in her eyes....
(floyd)
sometimes all this seems like a dream....
as if you'd wake up one day and find urself in a different world....
n i try to imagine what that world is like...
may be this is a common feeling for all of us....
is it called deja vu? vu ja de? ja vu de?
i don't know...

we met nidhs for lunch sterday... in the middle of our conversations... her phone rang...
n by the look in her eyes , and the way she jumped to talk... i and hope everyone around too could say who it was on the other end!!
that spark in the eyes and the smile is just so revealing huh?
congrats dear!

Fud for thot

This could have been easily my fourth blank blog, wherein i come and stare at a blank screen to return untampered. And this could have been my any other day.

New Road was the most pathetic place to be in Kathmandu yesterday evening but surprizingly half the population seemed to be there - doing nothing but walking on the streets to make my every step a pain in the ***

I was telling my mom yesterday - 'Mom, you are the dream customer of every marketer'
If every customer psyche worked as vulnerable as yours, there would be no customer surveys hence. Believe me, she is excited at every corner to all the display of goods under the white tubelight. She doesn't need a repeated TVC, a jingle, an outdoor display or a POP to get her buying what she doesn't need. She will jump at the next chance to empty her wallet. That's because she has been so busy running about, she hardly has time to stop for a breath and shop for herself. 'She is so busy driving, she doesn't have time to fill gas!'

My friends, my colleauges, and my superiors at work ask me once in a while, what's your aim in life? And i look at them, my head reeling to find the perfect answer, to give them that stupid smile. I haven't thought about my life so hard to come up with an aim. I live everyday, one day and the other passes - i know i am living right. But am i going right? If after five years, i look back at this day - would i think then, i should have lived it differently - would i repent that i should have done this and not that? Frankly, i don't know. Today, do i repent at the days i spent two years back? One, i am still not that old to look back at my days or years. And, no, even if i look back, i don't. I didn't know what i'd become, where i would be. I am here and I am happy.

But if i start from a place and walk 20 kms, i'd definitely reach someplace very different. I walked a certain way, which way i don't know and i am lucky to have liked this place, but i may very easily have been crying at this day at what i am doing.

But just because i've worked hard to reach someplace doesn't mean i am on the right direction. If i'd put a direction to myself and worked that 20 kms on it to reach a certain aim i had in mind, i'd definitely have a benchmark to say whether i am happy with what i achieved, and lot of chances i'd reach a better place! But lots of us don't have an aim. We change everyday but are unaware of the direction of change - are we changing in the right direction?

Invariably we change. But just imagine that everyday change to be in the direction of the person we'd like to be 5 years hence. The conscious everyday change mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, ethically, logically - would it be the same as this directionless living we have everyday.

Where i am coming from, is the unconscious living and insensitive mind to a conscious living, and a sensitive mind - which would work towards not just an individual's happiness but also their growth. In turn, their happiness and growth would reflect the society's happiness and growth.

Conscious living could be the buzzword now, i don't know. But Ktm is definitely not on that trend. The chaotic mass of people i saw yesterday - was a disaster to all the buzz words of good living. But to end on a positive note, we will have to try. 'Turn the clock to zero...to start on a Brand New Day'. I just hope!

ramble on

As i was giving my blogspot add to a friend today, i was wondering what she would think of all the nonsensical blogs i have here... i got charged up then and there to make this place a little readworthy... which fizzled out in a few moments... no doubt.
But i am amazed at the different kinds of people we have in this world... and how each one of us have different expectations of each other, although if you ask of someone, ... they have a normal reply - i don't expect anything of this or you....
N when you actually don't do or do something that was a little wayward by your or the other person's standard, you actually get the dialogue going - i didn't expect this of you!...
which naturally diverts my mind to the more fundamental query of - what was that you expected of me... which keeps the argument going for sometime for sure.

i once started a book called The diving bell and the Butterfly... it's a fascinating book which i never got till finishing. .... it's written by a paralysed person whose only moving muscles were his left or the right eyelid (i can't remember which... i think it's the right). He dictated the whole book by blinking his eyelids to denote the alphabet he wanted written down.... that's quite a feat huh!! and the writer's a pretty accomplished fellow in his own field...
last week, i read a review on it in the TOI.... which made me reflect on so many incomplete tasks which i leave to get back to ... someday...
like learing the piano... learning to be a good swimmer, taking care of my diet and becoming more jolly....

Scenes from a Memory

too tired to write anything.... and sleepy.

listening to dream theatre, staring at the screen for some solace. The day's happening flash back to me and i feel dazed as if that wasn't me having lunch or standing on the aisle or waiting for the elevator or typing out an email. I had forgotton Oedipus was the name of a character too, 'oh, really? i never knew it', i had said.

'September is a busy month', I think as mom pour more oil on her palm to massage my head. I feel the sweet sensation of sleepiness and immense feel of tiredness and relaxation as she moves her hand on my scalp. I stare at the ET on my lap as she does it, trying to read the cartoon bubble - it then strikes me that it's weekend in India. I remember my unturned pages of THT that I forgot on my desktop, i visualize it all alone in the darkrooms on the 3rd floor.... tomorrow it's perishable already... it takes me to the QT classes where we calculated the average number of days to keep a perishable item ... and try to validate it with a daily newspaper....

gudnite.

Oh!gust

How was August?
Usual.
The month saw inflation peaking more than nine percent. It saw fluctuating stock prices, not that the stock exchange is so active here, still. The number of tourists increased. The monetrary policy was revised. Price hike in petroleum was taken back after two days of demonstrations and vandalism. Few other demonstrations took place each day in the valley which created disturbances in various parts of the city. August saw a few gold medals for the country. The winners rode through the city with praise and accolades in garland and tika. UN demanded a more systematic way of management of arms from both sides. August saw the draft constitution which was not well appreciated by few other constitutional experts, should i say? Last but not the least, the month end gave the depressing news to ready us for September - NEA is running at losses and we need to buy candles for the load shedded evenings.

What message is the authority giving us? If you demonstrate enough, like tapasya and the bardan from Mahadeva, you get what you wish for, is it? Don't take the policy as it comes out... wait for a revision? I can't believe a person can get used to such stuff... it's difficult to remember the rules already. Did someone ask for a strong political opinion?

Featured above: August sunset, terrace ropelines