Their definition of life

From a  journal entry last month:

The rain has been beautiful since morning. When the droplets touch the dry, starved leaves and branches and roots of trees, it feels heaven. The quenching of thirst of a desert walking man.  And what other dharma does the clouds require than the blessings of these creatures, alive - just to see the rain.

The blissfully ignorant have constructed concrete cement buildings with cubicles in them: hundreds of cubicles which have been lighted so well that even when the dark clouds gets the city gloomy, their cubicles will feign sunshine. Hundreds of applicants get through “tough” tests and interview. Why? To toil in these cubicles from 9 am in the morning to late into night, six days a week and they think they love it. They shout over their ever ringing phones, they lose their temper, get irritated and use swear words. When they get a deal done, they are proud and think they are smart. Of course they are smart. They make a lot of money. They buy even bigger houses with air-conditioned rooms and even bigger air-conditioned cars with bed like seats. They tread in their soft carpets, then in their soft cars and tip toe to their carpeted cubicles. Every evening or so, they go up the escalators to buy their essentials, come back in their comfy car seats to their soft carpets at home. And for them, they are the luckiest, the richest, and the most happy people in the world.

When the routine is done every day of the year, every year of the decade, it becomes the life style for hundreds of cubicles in hundreds of companies and it builds cities and nations for whom soft carpets, comfy seats are the definition of life. 

Unlearning experiences

The maid might not be here for long. She is of little use while feeding the baby, anyways. She is a great help with washing her clothes, cleaning the kitchen etc. But what I really need is someone to stand by the baby to feed and cajole her when I am off to French classes - three days a week for three hours. That is a difficult prospect with her, especially since the little one has not taken up to her too good. She is not acclimatized to ktm and it’s ways of life. She is from a village and she remains so in her behavior etc. I respect that. It is not that I don’t like people from villages. But when we are used to a certain way of life, we require that of the person who is to work with us. That is all. If we went to the village and dictated our way of things, that would be detested there too. That’s about the same equation I am trying to draw. I don’t see anything biased or untoward there. It is not about inequality or disparity. It is just about how one is brought up, like caste or your favorite pastime. One does not need to live with an opposite caste (if something of that sort exists) or some unlikable pastime. It’s your choice, not about respect.

There was a question raised in our last class by the instructor. He asked if anyone kept a journal and I said yes, I did. Everyday?! He asked a little aghast. I said, as much as I can. That is because there is this section that we are dealing with in class that teaches us to write journals – in the past tense basically and we have an assignment related to it too.

Being with fuchi and learning French: two unlearning experiences for me. Both very fulfilling.

Facebook statuses, twitter updates, linkedIn updates what else? These move your life everyday because that’s how you get connected to your brother seven seas across, keep in touch with your friend, get the world news and what happened in your town. It is also a medium of getting knowledgeable and I find it intellectually stimulating when I can see what some revered author of mine thought that day and posts it as an update on twitter. Naseem Nicholas Taleb, Margaret Atwood, Manjushree Thapa, Paul Krugman – all are on twitter and I am following them. These give me a chance to have some level of connection with them which when reading their books definitely affect me.

Dad and their generation are never going to get it and thus, they think they do not like it. But if they had it their way, they would never deny it. Like, if I asked him if he could have S. Radhakrishnan or Swami Vivekananda twit to him every day or Pandit Nehru give facebook status updates, would he deny them? He simply would reject to hear such an absurd idea, gone is gone! Or rather bygone is bygone. But he would deny to understand a parallel for us. When NNT gives an opinion about what happened this morning, when Atwood says she is looking forward to Canada day, it stirs some emotions in their readers definitely. It’s too much for dad and the like when reverence and deep respect is the only emotion they had for their authors.

List of books to read

I have a list of books to read in my mind. They are matter of factly stacked up here and there. Few are autobiographies - Einstein by Isaacson, i remember that one - due from last year. Then i have a series on Nepal that i missed earlier - books by Harka Gurung and Manjushree Thapa, and the history of the country.

I have lists that include novels recommended and gifted by brother and friends.

I have my own collection that i buy out of interest or out of someone's must read list.

And i think the library has a good collection, which i bring and return without sometimes even turning the page. The guilt is there of course.

Online journals, articles, interviews - is what takes up the time that we had not factored into our "reading time". Once you put the mind to it even twitter, facebook and surfing seems as much intellectual as pondering upon a few pages of philosophy.

Read at night, before going to bed has been the trend. 

A balanced personality

In grade six, we had a punjabi teacher by the name of Ajit Singh. In my report card, he had not given a tick either in extrovert or introvert, but had written in his cursive writing 'Balanced'. My dad had been highly impressed, I had not understood its significance then. This post is not about my balanced personality, I highly doubt it is so now.

My concern or rather my mood at the moment is to think about balance in the intellectual and the practical side of the personality. I have increasingly found that those who are of an intellectual bent of mind, who can do maths in their head, think non-linear, be stark creative are usually not practical. These people shy away from bargaining for a few thousand rupees while they did be stuck with the pride of not paying for parking. Penny wise, pound foolish. The practical aspects of life and living, earning and feeding, sustaining and surviving simply don't enter their periphery of thought, and while forced into this family life practicality, they try to think of models around each chore.

The 'other' kind of people are the practical hard bargainers, multi-taskers. This bunch knows where to get a good bargain for a cheap and fast laptop, buy a lasting pair of shoes and that no.7 paint brush you have been looking for all over town. They know where to spend their bucks, how to hold a conversation and talk, basically.

My question however is, is introvert and extrovert related to these personality types? No. I have seen introvert people who are extremely practical. Does the left side and the right side brain got anything to do with it, leaving aside the debate that the left and the right side is just a myth? Maybe Type A and Type B personality types that is studied in B-schools? I don't know.

But god! a little bit mix of both practicality and hard core idealistic intellectualism would really help the world albeit an inclination to one type of personality can't be helped.

Alive

Does one hold more power over people on being dead?
Well, its a philosophical one, and a psychological one, well, its also an ontological one, perhaps? Or perhaps, there is one subject dealing just with it of which I am blissfully ignorant.

You somehow feel that your dead aunt knows more about you and your situation and your thoughts than when she was alive, don't you?
You somehow feel your grandma knows how much you loved her or how you felt about her now that she is up their floating in the pink clouds.
What is the funda really in being dead? And its answer lies in being so, quelle chance!

Death has been vilified and horrified, it has been humored and joked about. But whatever, its significance and imminence looms just as large. Its like the balloon that pops out for you to crash on, the only difference is, the balloon of death has been popped out along with your birth and waiting for you all along. Its just sooner or later that you bounce into it head long.

Modern medicine avert death of many people to a large extent - we live longer today than a decade back, than two decades back. Modern medicine save lives at birth - less of us die during child birth than a decade back, two decades back. Modern medicine has made life more congested on the planet thus misuse of resources, thus global warming?

Death brings vacuum - in families, in relations. For some, we only think of a particular relative when they are dead. Its like the sentence, don't think of a lady in red dress. The moment you say that you visualize a lady in red dress, although the sentence forbids you to do so. Death makes the relative you lost more alive.

In the last two decades, I met my uncle a few times, we avoided each other at common dinner parties, hardly nodded our heads to each other, and I did not think about him. But his sudden death a few months back brought back floods of memory and he is constantly alive in my  mind. His absence made his presence in my mind prominent. I had never been introduced to his two daughters and I had never visited the house where he lived but once in the last two decades. His absence made entry into his life easier, the relations around him became more alive and I was surprised by this fact - surprised to silence. Indeed, I have not been able to register it until this moment - how death can be so alive and how absence can be so fulfilling.

tapai lai aile kasto cha? (so how are you now?)

tapai lai aile kasto cha? (so how are you now?)

The above statement seems to hold true for anybody, anytime in Kathmandu these days. Ask anybody, so how are you now? It refers to the fact that you know about their last ailment which was not too long ago and that you are concerned and ready to listen to their woes. They will start off with their stuff then.

Every other person you meet is ill or had been just out of a bed ridden ailment. Is it the weather? Is it the water? the dust? the humidity? the everything? This city has definitely been listed as one of the most polluted cities, one of the most expensive cities, but is there such indicator as one of the most sick cities where most population is ill most of the time? These back-pain ridden, head ache stricken, stomach upset population is found in offices, at factories, garages, shops, doing their daily morning walks, evening strolls, afternoon stretches and the life goes on. God save Kathmandu!

As if the recent depiction of an earthquake for Kathmandu was not enough, as if the imminence of a deadly liquidation is not enough, the drainage system showed its colors a few days back when the gullies and major streets of the city were inundated. The daily cartoon which showed a police officer listening to a complaining motorcyclist, both under chest deep rain fall - "Not, my parked motorbike, the one I was riding got lost!"

The hovering clouds at dusk before the incessant bout of rains:

and today...

There is a new lady in the house to take care of the kiddo. I don't know how long she will last, what she will demand or what her complaints would be in the days to come. But as of now, she is good. Experience: raising her own two sons, she is a finicky cleaner (good for me). And she can work (hard) and on her own (without much guidance). And that makes it a perferct combi. The only question is: how long will she last? My only complaint: She makes pathetic rotis. I don't know if she can cook other stuff well. But she is a quiet being, who works with her hands.

For Kathmanduties, there should be a catalog on how to manage your maid that she will last/stay with you for a longer time.
Rule No. 1: Don't treat her like a maid; they are human beings, have the basic courtesy
Rule No. 2: (Genuiune) Respect! the older generation especially have forgotten that respect doesnot cost you anything except your ego. And the respect should be genuiune. Fake respect like fake smile across the telephone can be felt on the other end, being genuiune is important.
Rule No. 3: Listen to their demands. Listen to their demands. Yes, i repeated that twice because we hear it but don't really listen to what they are saying. Find a solution to their problems if it can be solved. But at least give it an empathetic listening, it matters and it counts.
Rule No. 4: Please understand, they are there to help YOU, please do not treat the situation as other way round as if you have salvaged THEM. They have enough job opportunities, for sure.

4 rules are good enough for today? well, the more experienced can add on to that list if they have a successful retain rate.

We are not alone

We used to be friends. We used to meet and have coffee or ride on the bumpy bagmati bridge on scooters. Then we started meeting with the loves of our life by our side. We had fun. Now, we still meet, without the husbands but definitely we are not alone, we meet with a 2 year old by our side or a three year old complaining to go out shopping for his favorite toy. But we definitely meet and I love that part. And the true Aquarians relish every bit of friendship.

Liste de trois

1. Decided on a laptop to buy, phew - eagerly awaited now
2. Found out a way to continue my French class - next level
3. Clean and organized room and thought - feels fresh - yay!

Patriotic feedings

What's most worrisome is that Nepal lacks thought leadership than anything else. Okay, the politicians have ruined the country - they are a pathetic bunch. Thus a new breed of society has come to breed - the educated, the aware, the more brave than they used to be. This consists of journalists, writers, civil society members, their wives and husbands who work for various NGOs and INGOs around the city, few MBA graduates who think they have found a ground to sustain themselves doing a patriotic job, a group of Nepalis living abroad. These are very good writers who have made their mark, energetic young journalists, A rated graduates, and hardworking people, but among all this, where is the thought leadership? They have energy, passion, the will, the modern techniques of social networking and advocacy.

Where is the one inspiring leader whose thought process is so strong, so revolutionary and inspiring that the whole nation is behind him. For a revolution that shall change the nation does it not require someone like Gandhi, Martin Luther King or Lincoln, or a strong personality like Clinton, Obama or Indira Gandhi or Vivekananda? Sometimes, it seems that intellect of that level is missing in the country. Sorry, I take that back. Even though, intellect and personality at that level might be there, are they willing to take the leadership stand, or more importantly, are they capable enough to take such leadership stand? Do they have that capability to inspire the masses, lead a country full of people? First, deep self study, reflective serious thought process is deeply lacking about the societal problems which is rampantly polluted I would say by global forces and the superfluous education system in the country, especially in my generation.

Thus, howsoever positive I try to be about the positive changes that small factions of people try to being by getting together a few hundred, or a few thousand of us linked to the social networking sites, or hooked to the Internet, or around the cities, my heart sinks at the inevitable short sightedness and futility of it all. But maybe, amongst these programs and such rally of cries, something very strong might emerge that will change the face of this nation - is my pray.

What might work?
I call it the campaign style. Well, I just thought of it. But this might actually be the solution, why not. Get a few agendas backed by strong research, select a charismatic leader who can whole heatedly campaign for the agenda like the presidential campaign in the USA, form a campaign team, get sponsors and run a country wide rally - touch the hearts of people, be genuine, go whole heatedly. If you run changing the country and the society as a side business, you will only create an image for yourself but no change in the society. If a change or to stay in the spirit of Steve Jobs, if a dent has to be made, one should pursue the national interest with the spirit of a martyr and nothing else. Every other attempt nears hypocrisy in my opinion.

Three things list

Here are 3 things that I did today -
1. I joined French class that starts from the 21st of this month
2. I bought a book for one of my friends after a long long time
3. I changed the look of my blog after a long long time!

Phew!

This day

What one expects after one is jobless is at least a few blog posts, or not!

Here are three facts after being jobless - 

1. I am no less busy

2. Life is much more fulfilling doing the things that I just love doing

3. Wow, the sheer joy of having a free shoulder