tapai lai aile kasto cha? (so how are you now?)

tapai lai aile kasto cha? (so how are you now?)

The above statement seems to hold true for anybody, anytime in Kathmandu these days. Ask anybody, so how are you now? It refers to the fact that you know about their last ailment which was not too long ago and that you are concerned and ready to listen to their woes. They will start off with their stuff then.

Every other person you meet is ill or had been just out of a bed ridden ailment. Is it the weather? Is it the water? the dust? the humidity? the everything? This city has definitely been listed as one of the most polluted cities, one of the most expensive cities, but is there such indicator as one of the most sick cities where most population is ill most of the time? These back-pain ridden, head ache stricken, stomach upset population is found in offices, at factories, garages, shops, doing their daily morning walks, evening strolls, afternoon stretches and the life goes on. God save Kathmandu!

As if the recent depiction of an earthquake for Kathmandu was not enough, as if the imminence of a deadly liquidation is not enough, the drainage system showed its colors a few days back when the gullies and major streets of the city were inundated. The daily cartoon which showed a police officer listening to a complaining motorcyclist, both under chest deep rain fall - "Not, my parked motorbike, the one I was riding got lost!"

The hovering clouds at dusk before the incessant bout of rains:

and today...

There is a new lady in the house to take care of the kiddo. I don't know how long she will last, what she will demand or what her complaints would be in the days to come. But as of now, she is good. Experience: raising her own two sons, she is a finicky cleaner (good for me). And she can work (hard) and on her own (without much guidance). And that makes it a perferct combi. The only question is: how long will she last? My only complaint: She makes pathetic rotis. I don't know if she can cook other stuff well. But she is a quiet being, who works with her hands.

For Kathmanduties, there should be a catalog on how to manage your maid that she will last/stay with you for a longer time.
Rule No. 1: Don't treat her like a maid; they are human beings, have the basic courtesy
Rule No. 2: (Genuiune) Respect! the older generation especially have forgotten that respect doesnot cost you anything except your ego. And the respect should be genuiune. Fake respect like fake smile across the telephone can be felt on the other end, being genuiune is important.
Rule No. 3: Listen to their demands. Listen to their demands. Yes, i repeated that twice because we hear it but don't really listen to what they are saying. Find a solution to their problems if it can be solved. But at least give it an empathetic listening, it matters and it counts.
Rule No. 4: Please understand, they are there to help YOU, please do not treat the situation as other way round as if you have salvaged THEM. They have enough job opportunities, for sure.

4 rules are good enough for today? well, the more experienced can add on to that list if they have a successful retain rate.

We are not alone

We used to be friends. We used to meet and have coffee or ride on the bumpy bagmati bridge on scooters. Then we started meeting with the loves of our life by our side. We had fun. Now, we still meet, without the husbands but definitely we are not alone, we meet with a 2 year old by our side or a three year old complaining to go out shopping for his favorite toy. But we definitely meet and I love that part. And the true Aquarians relish every bit of friendship.

Liste de trois

1. Decided on a laptop to buy, phew - eagerly awaited now
2. Found out a way to continue my French class - next level
3. Clean and organized room and thought - feels fresh - yay!

Patriotic feedings

What's most worrisome is that Nepal lacks thought leadership than anything else. Okay, the politicians have ruined the country - they are a pathetic bunch. Thus a new breed of society has come to breed - the educated, the aware, the more brave than they used to be. This consists of journalists, writers, civil society members, their wives and husbands who work for various NGOs and INGOs around the city, few MBA graduates who think they have found a ground to sustain themselves doing a patriotic job, a group of Nepalis living abroad. These are very good writers who have made their mark, energetic young journalists, A rated graduates, and hardworking people, but among all this, where is the thought leadership? They have energy, passion, the will, the modern techniques of social networking and advocacy.

Where is the one inspiring leader whose thought process is so strong, so revolutionary and inspiring that the whole nation is behind him. For a revolution that shall change the nation does it not require someone like Gandhi, Martin Luther King or Lincoln, or a strong personality like Clinton, Obama or Indira Gandhi or Vivekananda? Sometimes, it seems that intellect of that level is missing in the country. Sorry, I take that back. Even though, intellect and personality at that level might be there, are they willing to take the leadership stand, or more importantly, are they capable enough to take such leadership stand? Do they have that capability to inspire the masses, lead a country full of people? First, deep self study, reflective serious thought process is deeply lacking about the societal problems which is rampantly polluted I would say by global forces and the superfluous education system in the country, especially in my generation.

Thus, howsoever positive I try to be about the positive changes that small factions of people try to being by getting together a few hundred, or a few thousand of us linked to the social networking sites, or hooked to the Internet, or around the cities, my heart sinks at the inevitable short sightedness and futility of it all. But maybe, amongst these programs and such rally of cries, something very strong might emerge that will change the face of this nation - is my pray.

What might work?
I call it the campaign style. Well, I just thought of it. But this might actually be the solution, why not. Get a few agendas backed by strong research, select a charismatic leader who can whole heatedly campaign for the agenda like the presidential campaign in the USA, form a campaign team, get sponsors and run a country wide rally - touch the hearts of people, be genuine, go whole heatedly. If you run changing the country and the society as a side business, you will only create an image for yourself but no change in the society. If a change or to stay in the spirit of Steve Jobs, if a dent has to be made, one should pursue the national interest with the spirit of a martyr and nothing else. Every other attempt nears hypocrisy in my opinion.

Three things list

Here are 3 things that I did today -
1. I joined French class that starts from the 21st of this month
2. I bought a book for one of my friends after a long long time
3. I changed the look of my blog after a long long time!

Phew!

This day

What one expects after one is jobless is at least a few blog posts, or not!

Here are three facts after being jobless - 

1. I am no less busy

2. Life is much more fulfilling doing the things that I just love doing

3. Wow, the sheer joy of having a free shoulder

Ahem

"One is busy either experiencing life or recording it. To do both, one has to be a writer." - Zanie

readings

# Emphasizing access versus ownership isn't just more sustainable, it helps ease friction from the differences between rich and poor.

# We all need to be rethinking how we sustain rising middle classes with rising incomes in a warming world, otherwise the convergence of warming, consuming and crowding will mean we grow ourselves to death.

(Two points to think about from "China needs its own dream" by Thomas L. Friedman in today's NY times)

Feline Grace

I was brooding about cats the other day. Yes, cats, those that meow, you know four legged creatures with extra large size whiskers on them.  Why cats, you would say because I see them everyday – loitering around on the staircase, outside the kitchen, on the landing, inside the kitchen sometimes, trying to reach the top of the waste bin on their two hind legs stretched as far as possible – they are one elastic being for sure. They would fall off from the top of buildings during their jump yet would spring up and run off in a jiffy – that’s how they are made up – like rubber balls. They are so capable of bouncing back – unlike  a deer with those stiff and clumsy, uncomfortable and brittle looking antlers. I bumped into an an article yesterday about glowing green cats – during a research on AIDS. Well the article went on to say that apart from humans and chimpanzees, cats were the only other animal that had the potential to take on an AIDS virus on them – cats all around the world. Well, that’s a fact for sure. It was an uncomfortable fact there, given that we have so many stray cats scattered all around the place.

Cats are not a domesticated keep where I live. They are a sign of bad omen traditionally so nobody would touch them or would like to have them around, forget about letting them in the kitchen or in your living room, near the fire, comfy together – like a scene from one of those Blyton novels. Cats are related to death, somehow. By this standard, no cats are welcome around our neighbourhood. Earlier they used to sneak into kitchens from here and there and everywhere given the old structures with lots of (loop) holes. But given all new constructions these days, all houses have been replaced or refurbished with new ones taking particular care that all sides are sealed with no openings whatsoever even for the mosquitoes that are so rampant in their right season, breeding on the stagnant pools of water along the Bagmati river and entering homes in scores even if slightest hole is left unattended . So cats around the place started with their long forced fasting  - no food led to no energy, lean cats, with ever more sad eyes.

Mom has her own theory, so she feeds them everyday with whatever leftover comes around the kitchen, which she makes sure it does to the liking of these  feline creatures – some meat maybe, some milk and rice, curd etc. etc. So the mother cat along with her kittens – four, sometimes five wait for the feast. So much for feline grace!

I am right here

1.30 am, a stormy night. I have been awake for the past one hour to the sound of rain and thunderstorm. When the noise gets down, I can hear the tick, tick, tick of the clock getting louder by the second. The door click-clicks with the wind on its lock nearby, and another a little further away, a subtle fight with whatever's holding it.

The extinct 'Scrat' from Ice Age gives me his vacant stare from one corner. I habitually tap various pages on the pad - jump from one article to next, from one status update to the next - get bored and keep it aside. Am I thirsty? Should I reach out for the water? The light flickers ever so lightly. I shiver, a tiny breeze has seeped in through the hinges. His warm hand falls on me. He has been fast asleep. Eyes still closed, in deep slumber, he gentles gives his 'I am right here' tap. I smile and switch off the light to join him in his dreams.

jumbled up

A lazy Saturday afternoon is hard to find. It is hard to treasure it for long when i find one.

A visit to the mall - always hurried - scurried - in a mess, the brightly lit shelves, rows and rows of colorful packaging whirl past as the shopping cart whooze to the corner of your find.

The stories of those who walk by on the streets - the beggar, the street vendor, the fruit seller, those group of loud Indian visitors, lost dazed rich people trying to find coca cola - staring at them from your window and fancying up your own story for each one of them - what leisure were those now you realize.

I tasted my tea today - darjeeling leaves - with its rich fragrance. It had long been i tasted food. I gulp them down every now and then several times a day. I measure my water for enough intake - one red steel bottle on my left hand, pouring it down my throat - my eyes on the screen, my right palm on the mouse. Am i supposed to taste water? I wonder.

I lived for 15 minutes last week. I was in a cab to work. I closed the stack of A4 size print outs on my lap, the presentation material for the day - closed my eyes, brought my senses alive and watched, I listened, I smelled. I saw the droplets on the window of the cab - blurring my visuals of outside. I felt droplets on my bare arm that had managed their way in. I smelled the rain. I smelled the moisture inside the cab. The thudding of rain drops on the roof. The splatter on the roofs nearby. The incessant chaotic car honks, motorbikes that splashed waves around - the raincoats, the umbrellas, the squeezing under umbrellas, the smiles, the shouts, wet hair, muddy folded pants, the potholes, the rain boots, the whites turned brown on school children.

I suddenly missed school, i missed college, i missed mom, i missed a cup of tea.

But the days roll on. I still measure my water intake. Try hard to make in time for work. Balance it out well. Cook, wash, read, correct, edit, send, write,click, edit, call, shout, click, decide, edit, read, send, think, click, call, frustrate, write, gulp down, edit, click, send, stand, speak, opine, call, click, walk - rush, call, reply, call, listen, click, note down, translate, gulp down, edit, opine, speak, call, cook, wash.....

and the days roll on.

my world

The long lost freedom is not yet found.

It is in some old forlorn forgotten well, deep under the waters, whose walls have grown moss - lust, wet, green, innocent moss - carpeting the inner walls.

It might never be restored, retrieved - the freedom.

When i think of freedom, i think of a hilly, a mountainous place - a hill station perhaps - with its crisp fresh air, its friendly, innocent, simple people with no complications of emotions, with no ego - no expectations, no demands. A gay happy face when the daily demands of basic needs are fulfilled.

I think of a school on this hill, a school and its kids. I would love to spend time with them - teach them something perhaps - spend a lot of time with them - play table tennis with them maybe - run with them - chat with them - spend a lot of time with them - show them various books - solve their innocent emotional issues - talk with them - spend a lot of time with them.

When i think of freedom, i think of making friends in the lonely place - knowing people doing their own stuff - making tea, tending to their gardens, dusting their windows, scrubbing off a stubborn stain.

When i think of freedom, i think of a snack on this hill somewhere - a sandwich probably - and a book - under a warm lovely sun, lying on the grass - reading the book until my lids get heavy and i fall in a lazy cozy warm slumber. I wake up to the crisp fresh breeze - the flowers around - red, blue and yellow, dangling and dancing with the breeze.

When I think of freedom, i think of keeping the body and the mind fresh, healthy and alert.

When i think of freedom, i think of writing, on a table, or on the grass, or at a tea shop, or in the school - i think of writing.

When i think of freedom, i cannot think of you. When i think of freedom, you are a wishful character - the yearning in my life. You are what makes me complete. You fulfill me and complete the purpose of why i live. With you i feel free.

But you don't come alone. And i can't take you with all your belongings to my space of freedom because they clatter a lot, clutter a lot, make noise - a lot of noise. They are orthodox, conservative, complicated and stagnant. And for them, i have no space in my world.

But i have stopped taking you there anymore.

I keep you here, with me - where you are - lest they hear us and follow us to my world.

But i still wish, i still yearn for you to be there with me - under the sun, lying on the grass........

I miss you deeply, where I wish you to be.

resting it out

Am supposed to be on complete bed rest, i should be resting it out. I am.

But more you restrict the human nature, the more it wants to erupt, burst out! especially when it knows what's it that it's missing.

I am not supposed to be here, but am here for a brief while and it makes the sensation even more pleasurable, the keyboards softer the monitor more alluring.

I select lighter, readable books to hold on my face while i lay on my back all day. Currently it is Small is Beautiful and each sentence i read it seems is written in the context of our own country. I heard it somewhere that King Birendra used to love this book and slightly understand why. And i also get perplexed a little at that piece of information.

It is a beautiful book written in the seventies which still holds good for an economics book written on the basis of research and data decades ago, the substance still holds good and beautiful.

So many learned leaders of our country not just political leaders but thought leaders fail to lead their fields - their own fields - why? when they are so learned, when they know what to do, why can't they fight the odds, bring in that conviction and just do it, as Nike says.

I got an 'activator' on my top five strengths (from Gallup's test), and can't just stand it when things don't get done. I can't stand it especially when things could be done and are not done, forget those who are ignorant and incapable of stuff. But when those who can, do not, it's simply unbearable.

For now, i am just resting my energies out.

what's it called?

Until you sit straight, you don't realize you had been bending all the while!
I wake up at night and can't sleep for hours....anticipation kills.

I go back to my orange. Mom takes the extra effort to find oranges for me, in this season. Fruit is better than juice they say, i am not sure - when they are preserved as well.

I go back to my book - EF Schumacher - a wonderful read - clears my mind - economics makes me pessimistic of the realistic world, it shatters the beautiful world we create around us, and jolts us back to the present. Sad thing - we hardly do anything about it.

I call friends, bosses, relatives to wish them a happy new year, i text a few, chat with a few. That's done. What next?

Fb - scan, browse, comment, like, post, find, go back to the past, find new friends! i am married to my husband after three years in fb- the fun part is, it collates all the picture of both of u together. I had a wonderful time reliving each photograph again. Its like falling in love all over again.

I look at the picture of the new born beauty to my brother in law - we wondered how she will have to learn Nepali, Newari, Hindi, Tamil and of course English!

Get some sleep!

weekend

Apart from the questions who will win - India or Srilanka and who will bat first, the next question on my mind is....

Will NEA give the few extra hours of power for the World Cup as it did last time during the Ind - Pak match?

picture this II

soap in a row

@ a tea shop in dolalghat!

balancing act!

outside home

picture this

White flower:

@dhulikhel, 2010

Boy splashing water

on way to the last resort, 2011

twitter this

i opened a twitter account today. it's so awkward though, maybe because i am not used to it. i am so used to seeing familiar faces on fb, it just baffled me at first. then i search for people i knew, friends, family - there were none.

i then went for celebs - from bollywood and hollywood and then to familiar categories, my favorite writers, then nepal...it leads you to more sites. i never knew manjushree thapa had a separate site in her name, its boring though - not much information except a review on her books which i can get anywhere. And her FAQs aren't that friendly either. well, she is the reserved kine. as long as her literature enriches us, no complaints madam.

just blank

blank.

sometimes the mind is blank. not just when you try to scribble something but when you try to even think something, it is preoccupied with just one thing that is most important in your life and nothing else matters.

i have been home, resting for a week now. and it seems fine. nothing else matters. on the first day i had to rest, i was deep shit worried about office, so much work, so few people to handle, one of my other colleagues is on bed rest too. I felt guilty, bad, twisted, difficult. But now i feel fine. Life will go on, but nothing's as important as health, nobody will give it back to you - not your mom, not your husband, not your dad, not your mother-in-law. This is one thing that totally belongs to you and if you don't take care of yourself, no one else will, because they don't know how you feel - your health. I think i have learnt it the hard way, shouldn't have been that difficult, but the simplest facts are the toughest to penetrate sometimes.

i have been doing the most cherished thing lying on bed these last few days - reading.